fufaraw: (Default)
Part of my deal with aspbergers, or the shallow end of autism, is a random, unpredictable but gimlet-eyed hyperfocus on details. I usually try to rein it in, but about some things I don't even try. Thank goodness OH is very aware of this trait, and indulges me for the most part.

In excavating the books and dvds, we found our collection of antique jail keys and the skeleton keys from the old house, plus a clock key and a couple of other keys of forgotten origin. Also found is the escutcheon and key windchime, bought and never hung. The fancy escutcheon, and the fancy key that serves as windcatcher, are fake old brass. The chimes are bright shiny silver, trimmed with crystal and pearl beads. The old keys will be mounted on a board, horizontally, two cuphooks per key (so they can be removed for closer inspection), and the board hung on the side of the tall bookcase in the living room. The windchime will hang from the ceiling, directly above the keys display. 

The keys, for the most part, are real old brass, and iron. I wanted them mounted against a background with a light texture, rather than a flat color. I decided to use the giftwrap I used to paper the back of the curio cabinet, across the doorway, directly opposite from where the board will hang. The paper has bright shiny silver dots, on a pearly finished background. I liked the idea of continuing the textured background from one place to the other in the room, and then realized, the bright shiny chimes and the pearl beads match the paper!

OH just grinned and shook his head while I hopped about, cheeping, "Look, look! I didn't even plan it and they match! Nobody but me will ever notice, but look! They match, they match, they match! Eeee!"

He loves me in spite of myself.
fufaraw: (Default)

Five things in my handbag
1. notebook
2. keys
3. moss agate pendulum/worry stone
4. clip on shades/glasses
5. tiny zip bag with nippers, clippers, tweezers, sewing kit, magnet & more

Five things in my bedroom
1. tarot collection
2. pen and ink collections.
3. giftwrapping, fabric and paper craft, and office supplies
4. years' worth of filled journals
5. out of season house flags, wind socks, and door decorations

Five things I've always wanted to do (and haven't yet done)
1. spend time around stables, maybe learn to ride
2. rescue and train a dog
3. visit Provence and Tuscany
4. visit England, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales
5. visit Canada--from Vancouver to PEI and Halifax

Five things I've always wanted to be
1. a reliable ear and shoulder for friends and family
2. financially comfortable
3. comfortable with myself
4. healthy and athletic
5. a little more outgoing

Five things that make me happy
1. a scenic drive on a sunny--or even an overcast day, with OH
2. deep and ranging conversation with friends
3. soaking in a silent moment of beauty
4. writing something I recognize is well done
5. solitary time without guilt

Five things I'm currently into
1. new bookshelves and discovering book friends I've not seen for a while
2. stepping up exercize from couch potato level
3. Shadowhunters, esp. Malec
4. improving my diet, by deliberate degrees
5. re-evaluating and making changes (life, home, etc,)

Five things on my to do list
1. finish (as if) sorting and shelving books
2. finish sorting and shelving DVDs/CDs
3. drag *everything* out of the walk-in, sort, cull, reorg, donate, or list on ebay
4. sort tarot--find boxes and rebox culls
5. list culled tarot on ebay
fufaraw: single candle flame (one candle)
Dear [personal profile] roxy, Happy Birthday to you!!

t rex cake

And may you reign forever! Many happy returns!

fufaraw: (Default)

The top picture is a Michael Parkes print that has hung in my house for years--since we moved and finally had the space to hang it. It had languished in a folder for a long time. It took my breath away at first sight, and I often stand for a few minutes, looking into the picture and noting details, imagining the scent of that oncoming storm, the breeze disturbing things in the physical room around me, and stroking the soft fur of the cat.

Parkes cat and storm

The second pic came up today on my Tumblr dash. It's titled Tuscan, taken by Lars van de Goor. My breath caught when it scrolled into view, and I've been studying those hills, the light, those clouds, and imagining I can smell rain and feel wind rising, scent the mown hills and the dust in the air.
Tuscan hills in gathering storm

Aside from sharing those lovely autumnal tones, both pictures feel very similar emotionally to me. I've studied the photo off and on all day.

Have you ever wanted to step into a picture on the wall? These would be good candidates, I think.


Aug. 13th, 2017 06:32 pm
fufaraw: single candle flame (one candle)
It's so much cooler now than it was last week. I feel like I'm actually living again, rather than laboring to exist from moment to moment. The air, while not perfect, is much clearer after the rain.

OH finished the bookshelves under the breakfast bar (pictures soon!), and we're both a bit dismayed to realize we have far more 15" tall coffee table books on various subjects than we even thought. Some of them will have to be shelved on their sides. Plus to that, the spines can be read easily. This coming week will be me pulling shorter books and fitting taller ones on the adjustable living room shelves, as the hall (bar) shelves are built for standard hardcovers. I'd kill for a library where I could shelve by subject, then author, then pub. date. But as things are, I shelve by size. And within that constraint, I try to organize by subject, and then by author, where I can. But mainly, it's all by size.

Since it's the anniversary of our son's death, we decided to drive out toward Deception Pass, where his ashes are scattered. The parking lot on Pass Island was jammed, so there was no hope of stopping, or having a private moment today, so we kept driving. Someone has planted trees and a garden around the massive chunk of driftwood that resembles a dragon and is locally known affectionately as Nessie. Thoughtful, but in a season or two she won't be visible from the road, standing guard on the cliff above the strait.

We drove out to Ebey Point--couldn't see the mountains on the far side of the water, but we found a gap in the sea oats that line the road by the beach and parked where we could watch and hear the breakers, as well as the grass blades and seed heads of the oats rustling in the constant offshore breeze. We'd planned to cut the stereo when we stopped, but Native American flute and drums were playing and it somehow seemed appropriate. We'd brought a fresh rye boule and a small tub of sweet butter, fresh zucchini, a bit of leftover smoked salmon, some very sharp cheddar (and string cheese, because picnic!), a handful of white grapes and another of home grown yellow cherry tomatoes. No conversation necessary at all, beyond, "More butter?" or, "Grape?" It was lovely.

I count as one of my great achievements getting OH to accept that hunks *torn* off a loaf of fresh bread are always better than a careful slice--more nooks and crannies for the butter! More texture, more flavor! Plus, that atavistic satisfaction of primitive humanoid ripping off a fistful of food and eating it out of hand.

I hope everyone had an agreeable Sunday.


Aug. 11th, 2017 04:23 pm
fufaraw: (Default)
After a couple of *weeks* of smoky air and haze, today I'm getting my first whiff of actual burning stuff, and ewwww.  Poor people who've been in it all this time.

It's supposed to rain tomorrow or the next day, and wash a lot of particulates out of the air. That'll be nice. And drop the high temps ten degrees F or more. That'll be even nicer. If we hadn't moved, if I'd been stuck in NC all this time, I'm sure I'd be dead by now. If not from the climate, then from politics. Oddly, there's lots of NC history and landscape I do miss--most of which is either altered or gone, in rational perspective. Can't forget the view from Mt. Mitchell, though. Or starlings in an autumn dusk from a third-story classroom window at Salem.

Important to remember these things are brighter, softer, happier, in the light of nostalgia than they would be in the harsh light of present reality.

Come onnnn, rain!


Aug. 4th, 2017 06:15 pm
fufaraw: (Default)
I was using the orange ritual candle from an assortment of colors someone gave me. I needed a "stub" of orange candle for this: extranewsfeed.com/a-spell-to-bind-donald-trump-and-all-those-who-abet-him-february-24th-mass-ritual-51f3d94f62f4 every time I perform it on the dark of the moon. I cut the candle into several pieces, each long enough to light and burn long enough to recite the ritual, ignite the picture, and then extinguish it.

binding ritual

Dammit, I just had to buy more orange candles.

fufaraw: (Default)
I took a nap this afternoon because, well, I felt like it, and I had no obligations and I could. I'm a rebel like that.

I dreamed of having moved into a run down neighborhood clawing its way back into being a neighborhood, getting to know people and stores and places to shop, folks rehabbing their buildings, cleaning up trash, etc. Over a weekend, someone had a crew clearing overgrowth of vines and some random trees from a lot between buildings, and one evening after the noise of the workers had stopped, some of us wandered over to see the results. They'd pulled down a few sheds and lean-tos that were about to fall down anyway, had cut the trees into sections, and set fire to the wood. It was still smoldering, flames flickering through here and there, and some of the neighbors got hoses and volunteered to keep watch on it, while we planned to find out who was responsible for leaving it burning and Have Words with them on Monday. I was walking home, and a kid I'd seen a few times followed me, wanting me to come play with him.

I was uncommited, unsure if I wanted to or not. As we turned the corner, another group was breaking up, and one of the guys turned to walk in the same direction we were going. I recognized Robert Urich, and we sort of fell into step. "Hello, smoker," he grinned. I shook my head at him. "I don't smoke." He made a "Sure, you don't" face.

"You've seen me smoking?" He nodded. "Then it must have been awhile. I quit three years ago."

We were having a nice, friendly walk, so it was rude when my alarm woke me. It was only a few minutes later, after I was up and moving through the house I remembered, isn't Robert Urich dead? Yeah, for quite a while now.


I would like to have talked to him some more. He seemed like a friendly fellow.



Jul. 11th, 2017 05:38 pm
fufaraw: Magnus and Alec (Malec)
I have been a Supernatural fan since first season. I will be a Supernatural fan long after they turn out the lights and lock the door--there'll always be fic and art and discussion going on somewhere, and even if there isn't any new material, I will never read all the fic in my lifetime.

But. During the hiatus, I seem to have fallen headfirst down the Shadowhunters rabbit hole. I haven't felt this squeeful about a show since early-seasons SPN.

It's running on the former Disney family channel, Freeform, and if you have Instant Watch, the first season, plus all aired episodes of season two are available there. Plus I think there's an app or something.

ANYway. Pretty actors*, pretty sets, surprising emotionally deep storylines and relationships for a fantasy genre tv show on a lesser-known channel. Give it a try--what've you got to lose?

magnus with teacup

*case in point: the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus Bane, is wonderfully played by Harry Shum, Jr. previously appearing as Mike Chang on Glee. (point: biceps!) The rest of the cast is gorgeous, as well. I'm smitten. I'm full and overflowing with smit.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that Lisa Berry, SPN's own Billie the Reaper, has a recurring role early in S2.

fufaraw: (Default)
To everybody on DW and LJ who wished me happy yesterday: [personal profile] deanshot1 , [personal profile] herminekurotowa , <lj user="stir_of_echoes">, <lj user="milly_gal">, <lj user="phoenix1966">, <lj user="casey28">, and <lj user="jj1564">. It was a lovely day--spent at home, but in wonderful company. OH has been away for a month caring for his brother, who is in pre-surgery cancer treatment, and his mother, who is elderly and needs constant supervision. He has a month at home before he will need to go back and take care of his mother while his brother goes through surgery and recovery, and provide at-home support when the hospital releases him. We've missed each other, but being together was especially nice yesterday, and we have stuff planned for the month he's here, to keep us both busy and productive. 

In other news, I've been watching the Shadowhunters series on Freeform, and I've fallen right down that rabbit hole in a way I've not done since first discovering Supernatural. I've always been a serial fan--one primary fandom at a time, and a few that I was minorly involved in: following the show, reading fic, knowing a little something about the actors, etc. But the primary fandom has always been my focus--writing fic, reading fic and meta, discussing meta, learning about the actors, writers, producers, and their previous work, watching old shows they were involved in, etc.

It was Buffy/Angel for the longest time, with Firefly/Farscape/BSG/Stargates/Lost/Heroes as peripheral fandoms, until I fell into Supernatural. SPN is still my primary fandom, and will be for a while, still, even after new episodes are no longer being filmed. The cast and their creative efforts will be of interest forever, and I'll be reading and possibly writing fic in SPN fandom maybe forever, appreciating art and vids and even speculative meta as long as it's available.

But meanhile, Shadowhunters has swept me up in its silly, shallow, ridiculous storyline, and wooed me with it's So Very Pretty cast. I'm in a little bit of luuurrrvve with them all, with their characters, and with the noir romanticism of it all. The attraction was visual, as someone on my Tumblr dash began posting pics and gifs of the cast and snippets of dialogue. SO PRETTY! and I went looking for the show. Found it, and the previous season was available on Instant Watch, so I binged on it, and just fell into it, surrounded by the escapism and ALL THE PRETTY!  I mean, these are seriously pretty people! The roster of actor names pleases me to no end, as well, including the actors who play recurring characters: Jade Hassoune', David Castro, Alisha Wainwright. And the primaries: Isaiah Mustapha, Matthew Daddario, Emeraude Toubia, Alberto Rosende, Katherine McNamara, Harry Shum, Jr., and Domnic Sherwood. I mean, you could fall completely in love just with the actors' *names*!

I had no idea of the provenence of the show when I fell into it, but I quickly learned it was derived from a book series by Cassie Clare, and that she has some input into scripts. Aware of her background, I did a little digging, and found a terribly unfortunate film, The Mortal Instruments, that had a decent cast and a similar dark, romantic look, and somehow still failed miserably. Honestly, if I'd seen the movie first I might never have given the series a chance. The series is a whole different thing entirely, for all their origins in common. But I didn't, and I did, and I am wallowing in pretty, pretty escapism, and expecting little from the storylines but sheer fantasy. So imagine how, suddenly, I was rocked by a second-season script that addressed racial profiling, gettoisation and persecution of a segment of the population, bigotry, addiction, recovery,  homophobia, classism, and a few other little minor things so topical today, and so dear to my heart. Reader, I blinked. And then my heart grew about two sizes, for the grace the writers used to hit those notes without big flashy afterschool special arrows pointing to the issues. And for the growth and changes of heart each of the characters continues to experience on their journeys through this strange and unexpected world.

Oh, and discovering the character Magnus Bane is played by Harry Shum, Jr. formerly of Glee, I had to check out his performance there. Now, I avoided Glee in first run. It was silly, shallow, and high school--an assumption and possibly unfair judgement, but life is short and I had more important things to watch at the time. ...I'm almost finished with S3 in my binge of Glee episodes. Don't judge me. Oh! In blitzing through the series I discovered that both Supergirl and the Flash were Glee performers. Show choir as training ground for superheroes, maybe?

But back to Shadowhunters. Have I said Pretty? Do you need convincing?
malec kiss

fufaraw: single candle flame (one candle)
A little birdie told me today is [personal profile] jj1564 's birthday.

I'm not the gif or pic maven--all I have to offer is cake. But, true to Winchester tradition, it's ON FIRE!!!

cupcake sparkler

Happy Birthday, jj!  and many more to come!

That meme

Jun. 9th, 2017 01:28 am
fufaraw: sheep plus text (memesheep)

1. Did you know your spouse? No
2. Did you car pool? No, school bus.
3. What kind of car did you have? Borrowed my mom’s Renault Dauphine

4. It's FRIDAY night, where are you going? In front of the tv.
5. What kind of job did you have? Door to door encyclopedia salesperson, concession stand attendant at the roller rink.

6. Were you a party animal? Not ever.
7. Were you considered a jock? No.
8. Were you in choir/band? Chorus—500 voices strong, participated in competitions and concerts. Fantastic director. Loved it!

9. Were you a nerd? I suppose.
10. Did you get suspended? Not even scolded.
11. Can you sing the fight/school song? Don’t think we had one.
12. Where did you eat?  cafeteria
13. Where was high school? rural North Carolina
14. What was your school mascot? Almighty Eagles. Until the local religious types insisted ‘almighty’ only referred to g*d and we were being blasphemous by referring to the football team as equal with g*d, so we were demoted to the 'Mighty Eagles.' They were okay with that.
15. If you could go back and do it over? No.

16. Do you still talk to the person you went to prom with? Yes, but I get odd looks talking to myself.
17. Are you planning on going to the next reunion? Not without a gun to my head.
18. Are you still in contact with people from high school? No.
19. Did you skip school? Never.

20. Do you know where your high school sweetheart is? No.
21. What was your favorite subject? Drama
22. Do you still have your High School ring? Loaned it to a kid. Who lost it.
23. Do you still have your year-books? I think they’re still at the old house. Haven’t seen them in years.

fufaraw: (Default)
willpower works for me in re: sweets, is not to keep any about. You ask an alcoholic, "How much did you drink?" and the likely answer is, "All of it." This is my relationship to dessert. I usually treat myself to something decadent out, or once in a great while bring home a single serving. This avoids the whole guilt spiral of finding myself standing in front of the open freezer door at 2AM eating frozen cheesecake with a sharp knife.

In light of that, I just threw together a yummy substitute: 1 tsp. each, Dickinson's coconut curd, soft cream cheese, and Nutella. Blend well, spread thickly on cinnamon graham crackers, and enjoy. Wash up the coffee cup, knife, and spoon, and rest sated in the knowledge that I did, indeed, eat "all of it." NOM.
fufaraw: (Default)
from [personal profile] beanside 

Who are you named after?

They spelled my middle name Arline to honor my dad,  Arlis

Last time you cried?

On the phone with OH, family troubles

Do you like your handwriting?

I quite like it, though arthritis is stealing it

What is your favorite lunch meat?

Smoked turkey. Though it’s hard to beat good roast beef

Longest relationship?

Marriage of decades

Do you still have your tonsils?


Would you bungee jump?


Favorite kind of cereal?

I don’t eat cold cereal, so, oatmeal

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

People do that? Not usually

Favorite ice cream?

Coconut almond fudge, from a local dairy. Wait, lemme 'splain. It's fine-shredded coconut, veins and pockets of Actual Fudge, and slivered almonds, in almond ice cream, which is purest white and intensely almond.

What is the first thing you notice about a person?

Voice, probably, then body language

Football or baseball?

Gymnastics or figure skating

What color pants are you wearing?


Last thing you ate?

Amazing multigrain bread with sunflower seeds, toasted

What are you listening to?

Birdsong. And the county gun range.

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Dark, dark blue, or bottle green

What is your favorite smell?

New-cut grass and clover

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?




Hair color?

I keep hoping to go dramatically grey, but it’s stubbornly brown. Fading just  little along the part.

Eye color?


Favorite foods to eat?

I’m forbidden tomatoes, onions and peppers, so pizza with cracker-thin, crisp crust, olive oil and cheeses, broccoli, spinach, black olives, mushrooms, sausage (with fennel!) and maybe pepperoni, more cheese.

Scary movies or happy ending?

Not a fan of either scary or fluff. Troubling, challenging movie with a satisfying resolution—how’s that?

Last movie you watched?

I don’t remember. It’s been a while since I saw a movie in the theater.

What color shirt are you wearing?


Favorite holiday?

Comes thrice a year: post-Halloween, post-Valentine’s Day, and post-Easter. It’s Half-Price Candy Day!

Beer or wine?

Single malt

Night owl or morning person?

Owl into morning

Favorite day of the week?

Don’t really have one

Favorite season?

It would be spring, but for the allergies. Fall, next—though that’s allergy-frought, as well. Winter’s nice, if you don’t have to be somewhere.

fufaraw: (Default)
binding spell

Fourth waning crescent moon observance of the binding spell last night. I have to believe it's having some effect, if for no other reason than the world hasn't already ended yet.

fufaraw: (Default)

lerayon wrote:

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Fanfic comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, AO3

lcn71 wrote:

And in my hour of darkness
Speaking words of wisdom, AO3

[personal profile] beanside  wrote:

A03, A03
Yeah, A03, A03.
There will be an ABO
On A03.

Iz curious

May. 22nd, 2017 08:09 pm
fufaraw: (Default)
Can someone tell me why Sasha Roiz was at JIB? Asking for a friend.

In Dreams

May. 19th, 2017 02:04 pm
fufaraw: (Default)
You know those dreams, either ominous or unsettling, that follow you out of sleep and color your whole day with a touch of gloom, unease, or sadness? We've all had those, right?

This was not that. I was working with an outfit that rehabbed and released arctic wolves. I was not the only rehabber working with these particular wolves, but it was my job to check on them periodically and see how they were adjusting to being wild. One was rescued as a cub and hand-raised, and released as an adult. The other was rescued as an adult, injured, and rehabbed back to health before being released.

The release point, which was also the check-in point, was a cabin in a remote area: basic, small kitchen, bed, stove, toilet and sink partitioned off, as was long-term food storage. I was not the only person who worked with these wolves, but once released, they were my project to check on and monitor.

There's nothing like watching a full grown male white wolf in an expanse of new snow, for hoppiting through two-foot drifts and rolling in pleasure. Such joy in their being, and in me, watching them. I would arrive at the cabin, and make some human habitation noise, and one or both would appear in a day or two, come say hi, spend some time close by the cabin, playing, resting. And then wander off with purpose to do wolf things.

There was a bit near waking where the older wolf hadn't appeared for the past two visits, and I'd begun to wonder if he had died. But at my next check-in he had come, and was lying in a corner of the roofed porch. He had come back to die.

I did think that was odd, that a wolf would be more likely to go off alone to die, and that my conscious was telling me what I wanted to hear. But then I woke to birdsong outside my window. The amazing joy of watching the wolves cavort in the snow, their accepting presence, and quiet willingness to be near have followed me into waking. The images are still vivid. It was a lovely, lovely dream. Thank you, subconscious!


fufaraw: (Default)

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