Quaking in my boots, here, but this sounds like fun

[fufaraw]

DVD Commentary Meme

Stolen from embroiderama,  de_nugis, and others.

Go to my AO3 page  http://archiveofourown.org/users/arliss/works and pick a passage from my stories, up to 500 words, and comment to this post with that selection. The title of the story, or a link to it, will help. There isn't a huge selection, so it shouldn't be hard to pinpoint something.

I will give you a DVD commentary on the snippet you pick: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the characters' heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the story, awful puns [or not], and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track. You can ask me anything - character motivation, writing process, or if you disagree with the direction I took in a story, ask me to defend it.

Comments

[meus_venator]

This part made me so sad:
Dry, he slipped his feet into the simple sandals and pulled the single garment he'd won permission to wear over his head. Someone would come and empty the pot and the basin while he was out. He gave no glance toward the fabulously expensive full-length mirror that lurked in the corner, shrouded now.

The emperor had had it brought in to show Jensen his new body shortly after he'd been gelded: his cock still full and proud in front of his empty sack, his broad shoulders, strong arms, deep chest, rippled stomach, and tight, strong buttocks, he'd been adorned with gold rings in nipples, cock, and perenium, his eyes lined with kohl and lips shiny with oil. Jensen had been always naked then, and Jared had visited him often, touched him and whispered endearments and embarrassing compliments in his ears before he bedded Jensen, fingers in his ass stretching his hole, stroking that place inside him that shot sparks through his body and, for a while, hardened his cock. Jared had loved to suck on Jensen's empty sack, nibbling the healed seam where his balls had been stolen--no, not stolen. Given, as ransom for the safety of his home, his people, from Jared's raiding armies. Jared had called him beautiful, brought him to orgasm again and again, fingers playing in the decreasing spurts of clear fluid that pulsed from Jensen's cock as Jared pleasured himself buried to his own balls in his beautiful slave.

[spn-j2fan.livejournal.com]

From What Was Lost: "Jensen watched the children grow up, right before his eyes. He watched the families, his and Jared's, welcome JJ home, and each of the milestones Jared had documented for him. There were random videos and photos, too, of afternoons in the park, or a picnic in the back yard, of Mac on a swing, pushing for all he was worth and yelling happily into the sky. There was Shannon having words with JJ over some perceived misdeed--she really had started early with the bossy and the cranky, Jensen smiled at his girl. There was JJ beating his stuffed dolphin with a set of plastic spoons and squealing gleefully at the camera. All his kids, all his babies, all their lives here on the screen, all the time before he'd met them, before he'd come into their lives. He would come back to these later, many times, when he could look carefully and take note of every detail. But now, he rushed through the photos, the videos, wanting to see everything he had missed. He didn't really notice when his fingertips went out to touch the faces on the screen, or when they swiped at the moisture on his face."

This might be the most poignant part of this series which I love with all my heart, and I could have easily bracketed from this paragraph all the way down to the part where Jensen tentatively asked if it was okay for him to leave flowers. *sniff* But I figured that was way too much to ask. :)

I think this is absolutely amazing and would love to know where your thoughts took you as you put it together.

Wonderfully done, my friend! <3

[fufaraw]

The Measure of a Man was prompted by, written as sort of a sequel, and sort of a tribute, to mickeym's A Changed Man. She set up the story parameters, and as often happens with me, triggered a need to explore what happens *after* a traumatic event. I'll always be thankful for her generosity in reading it and allowing me to post it publicly.

I've gotten some "how could he!?!" comments, from readers who seemingly can't forgive Jared for what he's done. In this story, Jared accepts males into his harem *only* once he's had them gelded. He's done this before; it's just what he does. My attempt in exploring Jensen's physical changes after his castration, and in having him ask Jared for something useful to do, was to have Jared see the person, the character and personality behind the facade of beauty that was all Jensen was to him, previously. Recognizing Jensen's worth as a person, as more than an owned sex toy, might give Jared enough insight and empathy to realize what his custom of castration actually cost his slaves. And having Jared more aware of Jensen as a person promised friendship between them, even, possibly, a change in royal policy. I wanted to leave that possibility open. I do believe, if they truly comprehend the consequences of their actions, that people can change. And there's hope of that, in this fic.

[fufaraw]

I love this little fic. In a previous meme, when asked which of my fics I'd film, this one won, without a second thought.

It's hopefully a bit more character-revealing of Jensen for readers who were unhappy with him after More Than Words.

MTW got basically two types of comments--either sympathy for Jensen's predicament, or angry condemnation of his actions in refusing to parent his kids. At the end of that fic I did little more than show Jensen observing and interacting with the kids, as a stranger to them. But when I started writing More Than Us, Jensen was a completely involved and active parent. I realized there had to be a transition point, there needed to be a space where he acknowledged what he had missed early in their lives. I felt it necessary as a deeper character revelation to show that he really did regret the loss of that time, even though he hadn't been able to keep his sanity *and* yield to Repro's plans for him, until he was free to *choose* being a parent.

What Was Lost actually began as a prologue to More Than Us, and I sometimes think I should have kept it that way, that it would have been read more (it sometimes gets overlooked when new readers start the whole series), and the depth of his change would have been more apparent. But the jump from kids as toddlers to kids as teenagers was so great, I felt it would be best to have this as a stand alone, and begin MTU with that actual story.

I wanted the device of Jared recording the kids' milestones in case Jensen ever did want to "catch up" to give some insight into how deeply Jared came to understand Jensen, and how much he cared for his family. I used the device again in More Than Ever, with Jensen making recordings while Jared was missing, so he could know and feel part of the family once he came home.

And I have to admit that I cried a lot, trying to process Jensen's feelings while writing What Was Lost, from following Jared, to watching the vids, to taking flowers to the cemetary on his own. What Was Lost started as a way to tie up a few important loose ends from MTW, and it became an entity of its own.

It makes me so happy that it touched you. Your input was invaluable in my getting it down without being overly sentimental, thank you so much! Thank you too, for giving me the opportunity to talk about it, and express my unabashed affection for it.

[sophiap.livejournal.com]

From Not all Cats are Grey in the Dark:

There was a couple seated in one of the booths, a blond woman and an attractive black man, holding an animated conversation. He could only see the back of the woman's head and her hands as she gestured, but the smile on the man's face as he responded to her was fond and indulgent. He wore a dark suit and a crisp white shirt. Jared couldn't tell what the woman was wearing, other than her shoulders were clad in a dull, dark red.

The bell over the door signaled the entry of a tall guy in slacks and a polo shirt. He was nice-looking, short hair artfully bed-rumpled and gelled into soft spikes. His face lit in a smile, and he quickly crossed to the couple’s booth. He bent to exchange a kiss on the mouth with the man, then slid into the booth beside the woman, his arm around her shoulders while she cuddled into him. They exchanged a kiss, too, one that lingered a little longer.

The black guy caught him looking, so Jared smiled and dropped his gaze to the menu. His eyebrows rose--the entrees were impressive. Jason had been right, this wasn't your run of the mill cafe or diner menu. It was short, only offering beef and fish with a choice of four sides, and two desserts. But each of the items listed required skill in preparation, more expertise than most short order cooks possessed. Making his choices, he glanced up to look for a waitperson.

The door to the kitchen swung open. The man in the short white chef's jacket didn't look like a waiter, with a folded bandana tied around his brow and hair gathered at his nape in a ponytail. He moved quickly, scanning the tables until his glance fell on the group in the booth. He quickly reached them, dipping down to exchange kisses with the guy and the woman whose backs were to Jared, before leaning in to exchange a deeper kiss with the black man. A hand in a crisp white shirt cuff, flashing a cufflink, came up to stroke and cup the chef's face. As the chef ended the kiss and stood, he clasped the hand in his own and kissed the palm before letting it go.

Huh, thought Jared.



I loved Jared's outsider point of view on this relationship, and it was fascinating learning how Jensen fit into it. I'd love to know some more of your thoughts on this particular foursome dynamic, especially ones that maybe didn't make it into the story proper.

[fufaraw]

I have gradually become a true fan of good M/F/M threesomes. There's been a lot of speculation (and fic written) about Haven's Nathan, Audrey, and Duke, which I can absolutely see--at least first season. But my favorite OT3 has to be Alec, Parker, and Eliot, from Leverage. Although prime time won't acknowledge such a relationship, it's certainly flirted with by the writers and the actors, and of course, by fans. Since Aldis Hodge (Alec) and Christian Kane (Eliot) show up fairly frequently in RPS fic, all I had to do was find a believable occupation for (and excuse for the presence of) Beth Riegert (Parker), and sort of co-opt that threesome into my story. I didn't stray too far from the Leverage characters because I wanted to keep that air of comfortableness with each other, and the obvious ease and comfort with their relationship.

Bringing Jensen into that relationship, emotionally, was a shot at illustrating more of the ace spectrum.

People who are fueled by their sexual desires seem to have trouble comprehending people who are not. And if they do acknowledge a person's asexuality, they tend to think in an "all or nothing" kind of way: you are, or you aren't. That isn't the reality. Many ace people, like Jensen, are comfortable with and even seek out emotional *and* physical affection that stops short of sexual context. Finding a relationship where that's not only respected, but indulged and enjoyed, is a sort of dream-scenario. So this is fic--why not explore that?

There are demisexuals, of course, who reject flirting and cuddling, but who find someone with whom sex is good. I keep responding to comments with "Asexuality is a spectrum, at any point along which a person may be."

I thought it was important that Jensen not be isolated and alone, because I wanted his character to be far from tragic, but rather warm and happy and well-adjusted. So this is where he fell on the spectrum.

I had a little chuckle at Jared, actually, coming in from the big city to this small town and expecting Podunk and rednecks. To stumble into the Cafe and recognize the standard of the cuisine, and then to witness public PDA of a more-than-couple relationship, it quickly gave him a new perspective on the town and on his own preconceived notions. I think anybody would be surprised and titillated at an open poly display, so I wanted to give that reaction from his unsuspecting point of view.

There were lots of challenging subjects I tackled in this fic, and I tried to do it in a subtle, matter-of-fact way. A lot of those subtleties never made it onto the page, not overtly. But I know they're there, and maybe it's something I can build on, in the future.

Hope that answers what you wanted to know. Poke me if not. And thanks for the chance to ramble!

[spn-j2fan.livejournal.com]

This is such a treasure to me, I'm really glad it is for you as well. But I think I can tell just by the flow. :) It is so nice to get the background on it; that makes it more real for me. And I agree, it would have gotten more attention as a part of "More Than Us," but I'm with you on its ability to stand on its own. It really is lovely--so character-centric. I love it!

Oh, and I love you!! ♥

[fufaraw]

You know I love you too. &hearts.

I was so caught up in explaining my character reasons for Jensen, I neglected to mention WWL is a turning point for Jared, too. He's thought about Repro and how devastating the policy can be, how destructive, even as it seeks to create life. The seeds of his maturity are in More Than Words, but that gravitas begins to grow in WWL. It isn't as much of a surprise that he begins to investigate the anti-Repro movement in More Than Us, because he's become a more serious and thoughtful person in What Was Lost.

I hope so, anyway.

It is sort of ridiculous that my second shortest fic has provoked so much introspection for me. These points weren't exactly set in concrete when I started WWL. But it became immportant to me that they be revealed and developed, as both character and story elements.