Brain, you know we get like this
Sep. 14th, 2015 02:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fufarawI have become completely besotted with Chip and Joanna Gaines' Fixer Upper show on HGTV. I have long been a fan of rescue, repair, reuse, repurpose. I love the idea of using found objects as decor, especially if they can be repurposed for a new function, and Joanna Gaines seems to operate on that principle. Except that, like most designers, she will opt for visual effect, rather than practical use.
Old chairs, for example, with paint peeling--or sanded--to reveal layers of color beneath. Very lovely, until you sit in one wearing shorts and embed sharp paint chips in the underside of a thigh. Or using rusty wire baskets for storage, lovely and innovative, except that your towels or giftwrap or books emerge streaked with rust.
And still I watch, absorbed by the transformation of derelict houses whose time has passed, brought back to life and light and new purpose by a singular vision. Flaking paint and rust, though... Picturesque, but impractical.
It's like those atmospheric photos of books and candles, draped around with gauzy curtains, just waiting to combust in a single fiery 'whoosh!' The romantic, flowy nightgown, lace-trimmed cuff ruffles flapping around the chamberstick--'whoosh!' Fake spiderwebs spun over the desktop with its inkstand and quill, corners of the curling sheet of parchment weighted with brass or glass objects, or a convenient shell or stone--the operative words, spiderwebs spun near the candle flame, 'whoosh!'
Or the antique books strewn in the grass on a foggy afternoon--do you have any idea what kind of mold spores those books are exposed to? What damage damp can do to old leather, vellum, and glue? Do you? No books in the dewy grass, unless they're modern trade or mass market paper!
Or another favorite, the trendy platform bed, with the platform extending in sharp corners beyond the edges of the bed, where they're very handy for taking you out by the knee as you stumble drunkenly toward slumber. Or stuck up near the ceiling in a loft above the living quarters, where heat rises, to suffocate you in your sleep.
This isn't actually a litany of complaint, more a musing on 'do other people really not think things through?' and accruing points toward my curmudgeon badge.
Old chairs, for example, with paint peeling--or sanded--to reveal layers of color beneath. Very lovely, until you sit in one wearing shorts and embed sharp paint chips in the underside of a thigh. Or using rusty wire baskets for storage, lovely and innovative, except that your towels or giftwrap or books emerge streaked with rust.
And still I watch, absorbed by the transformation of derelict houses whose time has passed, brought back to life and light and new purpose by a singular vision. Flaking paint and rust, though... Picturesque, but impractical.
It's like those atmospheric photos of books and candles, draped around with gauzy curtains, just waiting to combust in a single fiery 'whoosh!' The romantic, flowy nightgown, lace-trimmed cuff ruffles flapping around the chamberstick--'whoosh!' Fake spiderwebs spun over the desktop with its inkstand and quill, corners of the curling sheet of parchment weighted with brass or glass objects, or a convenient shell or stone--the operative words, spiderwebs spun near the candle flame, 'whoosh!'
Or the antique books strewn in the grass on a foggy afternoon--do you have any idea what kind of mold spores those books are exposed to? What damage damp can do to old leather, vellum, and glue? Do you? No books in the dewy grass, unless they're modern trade or mass market paper!
Or another favorite, the trendy platform bed, with the platform extending in sharp corners beyond the edges of the bed, where they're very handy for taking you out by the knee as you stumble drunkenly toward slumber. Or stuck up near the ceiling in a loft above the living quarters, where heat rises, to suffocate you in your sleep.
This isn't actually a litany of complaint, more a musing on 'do other people really not think things through?' and accruing points toward my curmudgeon badge.
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Date: 2015-09-14 09:43 pm (UTC)discreetly wipes lips*
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Date: 2015-09-15 02:52 am (UTC)(passes you a napkin)</>
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Date: 2015-09-14 10:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-15 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-15 04:19 am (UTC)I love watching reno and fixer-upper type shows, too, but omg. The impractical and sometimes bizarre stuff these people do!
I loved watching 'This Old House' on PBS - have since i was as kid. They reno 100+ year old homes on the east coast. SO AMAZING. The oldest house they did was a Colonial built in 1710.
http://www.thisoldhouse.com/toh/tv/house-project/show-descriptions/0,,198078,00.html
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Date: 2015-09-15 04:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-15 05:02 am (UTC)Is there gripper tape underneath that hall runner? Do you want to find out at 2 in the morning?
Assume the resident pets will find a way onto any flat surface. Still think those decorations work?
Signed, also having a Crabby Old Bat day
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Date: 2015-09-19 06:12 am (UTC)