not that I'm picky or anything
Mar. 12th, 2016 11:56 amI bought a book online recently. I don't know the author or her work, and the book has been out for several years so, feeling no particular compulsion to add to their income ("Hello, yes, do you have 'this book' in stock? No, I don't have time for you to order it, I'm going to a birthday thing today, and she mentioned wanting this book in particular." Or strolling through the store, turning the book's cover face out on the shelves. Or if they do have it, "Yes, and let me have four additional copies to use as gifts." Leaving reviews online, etc. I'm a huge known-author booster), I ordered a used paperback.
But being who I am and picky about my books, I ordered "like new, no shelf wear". And indeed, when I pulled it out of the packaging, it looked pretty darn pristine. In the hand, though. Well, it felt dead. It *crackled*. The pages feel as if the glue that held them to the binding has evaporated and they will just slip their moorings and slide, loose, to the floor. I'm afraid to have the book anywhere near a heat source--it could flash up in a green flame at a mere breath, leaving nothing but a curl of ash behind. It is tinder-dry. I can't bear to hold it, to touch it, long enough to read it. It meets the description though, and it's not seller error, it's me.
I once loaned a brand-new, once-read hardcover novel to a friend in my writing group, and an artist. I felt reasonably confident in doing so. What I got back was...visibly my book. But, when a used seller describes a book's binding as "tight"? This was not that. I can only surmise she read the book in the tub, cover doubled back on itself like a magazine (and to be honest, I don't do that to magazines, either). People, it's not unusual for me to find an out-of-print copy of something I want dearly, take it home and take an art gum eraser to the page edges and the pages themselves, to wipe down the dust jacket with a damp paper towel, and then give it a quick press with a warm clothing iron, to mend tears in the dust cover from the back with clear, acid-free tape. I don't loan my books, as a rule. I fret when I do. In fact, there are authors and books which I rec frequently, and frankly? I keep loaner copies. If they don't get returned, or are returned in shabby shape, well, they're not *mine*, exactly. I'm just the keeper/loaner. *Mine* are still safe.
I am Miles Crane in my pickiness.
My books and my desk. At work my desk was clear in the morning, looked like a slag pit by midmorning, and by the time I left the office, it was pristine again. Woe betide *anyone*, even my boss, who left anything for me on my desk. I had an inbox...over there. *Not* on the desk. I'm a pen tyrant, too. There were specific pens that allowed me to do my job efficiently, and I kept a supply--certain brands of medium stick ball pens, of fine-point ceramic ballpoints, of gel pens. Some were pretty to look at, and I kept a small tray on my desk for quick access, and for pretty. I also had a rabbit garden of cheap stick ballpoints, which I replenished frequently, as they always walked away. If someone used one of the "pretty" pens and "inadvertently" walked away with it? I would stalk them down, gently retrieve my pen from their fingers and replace it with a Bic stick. See also: stapler, tape dispenser, and other implements which were littered all over the office. But *mine* always worked, mine were always full and functional, because I kept them that way. And pilferers were liable to lose fingers. Let's just leave my tools where I put them, and move on, okay? And nobody gets hurt.
So anyway, I can't with this book. I'ma have to find another copy that I can stand to hold long enough to read!
But being who I am and picky about my books, I ordered "like new, no shelf wear". And indeed, when I pulled it out of the packaging, it looked pretty darn pristine. In the hand, though. Well, it felt dead. It *crackled*. The pages feel as if the glue that held them to the binding has evaporated and they will just slip their moorings and slide, loose, to the floor. I'm afraid to have the book anywhere near a heat source--it could flash up in a green flame at a mere breath, leaving nothing but a curl of ash behind. It is tinder-dry. I can't bear to hold it, to touch it, long enough to read it. It meets the description though, and it's not seller error, it's me.
I once loaned a brand-new, once-read hardcover novel to a friend in my writing group, and an artist. I felt reasonably confident in doing so. What I got back was...visibly my book. But, when a used seller describes a book's binding as "tight"? This was not that. I can only surmise she read the book in the tub, cover doubled back on itself like a magazine (and to be honest, I don't do that to magazines, either). People, it's not unusual for me to find an out-of-print copy of something I want dearly, take it home and take an art gum eraser to the page edges and the pages themselves, to wipe down the dust jacket with a damp paper towel, and then give it a quick press with a warm clothing iron, to mend tears in the dust cover from the back with clear, acid-free tape. I don't loan my books, as a rule. I fret when I do. In fact, there are authors and books which I rec frequently, and frankly? I keep loaner copies. If they don't get returned, or are returned in shabby shape, well, they're not *mine*, exactly. I'm just the keeper/loaner. *Mine* are still safe.
I am Miles Crane in my pickiness.
My books and my desk. At work my desk was clear in the morning, looked like a slag pit by midmorning, and by the time I left the office, it was pristine again. Woe betide *anyone*, even my boss, who left anything for me on my desk. I had an inbox...over there. *Not* on the desk. I'm a pen tyrant, too. There were specific pens that allowed me to do my job efficiently, and I kept a supply--certain brands of medium stick ball pens, of fine-point ceramic ballpoints, of gel pens. Some were pretty to look at, and I kept a small tray on my desk for quick access, and for pretty. I also had a rabbit garden of cheap stick ballpoints, which I replenished frequently, as they always walked away. If someone used one of the "pretty" pens and "inadvertently" walked away with it? I would stalk them down, gently retrieve my pen from their fingers and replace it with a Bic stick. See also: stapler, tape dispenser, and other implements which were littered all over the office. But *mine* always worked, mine were always full and functional, because I kept them that way. And pilferers were liable to lose fingers. Let's just leave my tools where I put them, and move on, okay? And nobody gets hurt.
So anyway, I can't with this book. I'ma have to find another copy that I can stand to hold long enough to read!
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