![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fufarawMORE THAN US
chapters 7-8
Jervis was over the moon about the meeting with Padalecki. He and Mark and Malik met to discuss the focus of the emerging public face of the movement, which was very scary to think about.
They had all been used to taking such precautions to keep their identities and their activities secret, to strike quick and disappear even more quickly in dealing with the public and with the authorities. To be able to even contemplate putting a public face on the movement was exciting, exhilarating, and full of pitfalls and dangers. What they were doing, what they were encouraging others to do, was still illegal, and still punishable by very tough penalties. Just because the movement was beginning to find public support didn't mean stepping forward and speaking out was without the real risk of consequences. Whatever could be proved against them faced full retaliation by the Department, and they and their efforts would be closely watched, thoroughly scrutinized and examined by the agencies that the Department controlled.
Still, Jared admitted, the strides they had made and the ones they were making were promising, and things looked positive for the future.
He couldn't help wondering though, how his dad had known he was involved. He asked him to lunch at the house and Jared built them sandwiches, which they ate in the shade on the patio by the pool.
"I've been keeping an ear to the ground for a while," Gerry answered his question. “It's been a slow process, I guess, probably slower than I'm proud to admit."
"But I'm proud of you." Jared was quick to insist. "So many just--don't think about it at all. It's just a fact of life, why bother about it?"
"It started with Jensen. We didn't even think about it at the time, but looking back now, he was so devastated when he first came to you. His parents could barely speak to us, and we just…were so happy about everything. I remember thinking how sour and unpleasant they were, and how sullen he seemed. It just didn’t make any sense to us, then."
Jared nodded. He had his own memories of that time.
"And the 'appearances', when he was pregnant the first time?" Gerry shook his head and sipped at his iced tea. "I thought he was aloof and hateful, because he kept himself apart, he wouldn't come and talk to us, he wasn't excited and happy, like we were. I look back now and see how truly desperately unhappy he was, and what a tight grip he was keeping on his emotions. As time has gone on, I've been terribly sorry for being so caught up in my own expectations and not even acknowledging what he was going through."
Jared nodded. "He's forgiven us, though. All of us. Even me." He met his dad's eyes. "You know he loves you, right? He's never held a grudge."
"It was a fine thing you did, getting his status reversed."
"It went a long way to make things right between us." Jared paused, and then admitted something he had never told anyone. "I've been ashamed that I waited. That I didn't have the courage to petition for his citizenship before the accident."
Gerry eyed him sharply. "You know that would never have been granted."
"I know. But it cost Repro nothing to release a ceiver who was barren. It's an almost futile gesture. I should have been braver."
"Son," his father's hand came down on his arm, tightening briefly. "It wouldn't have mattered. Not as long as he was fertile. And the fact is, you did step up and petition for his release. If you hadn't, he would still be living as a ceiver, even though he really isn't one any longer." He took another sip of tea and set down his glass. "I've wondered, is Jensen involved in this?"
"No, Dad. And he's so paranoid about Mac and me--" His father reacted, as he'd expected, and Jared explained. "Mac’s girlfriend's little brother is a ceiver, and she got him involved. I got into it just to keep an eye on him."
"How deep is he in?"
"As deep as I'll let him be, maybe deeper."
"Well, we'll pack him off to school in the fall--" he stopped, Jared's expression clue enough.
"He has to go to school, Jared."
"And he will. Just--maybe not next year. I hope he'll have his involvement and make the difference he wants to make, get some of this…crusader impulse out of his system, and be ready to go to school year after next. That's the plan."
His father looked dubious.
"Better this way than if we pack him off to school and he cuts all his classes and gets involved with the movement there, where I can't keep an eye on him and help keep him safe."
Reluctantly, Gerry nodded. "You have a point. How does Jensen feel about that?"
Jared refused to meet his dad's eyes. "He doesn't know. Yet. Honestly, Dad, after what he went through with Repro, he's so scared for any of us to go up against them. He's convinced they're going to find out and arrest us, and put us all in prison--even you and mom, and his parents. He believes Repro will take everything we have and put Shannon and JJ in foster care. He's terrified whenever the subject comes up. He won't listen when we try to talk to him. He's stopped begging us to get out of it, but he hasn't given up.
"And I have no idea how he's going to take it when he finds out Mac's not heading for college in the fall. Frankly, I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I mean, obviously I understand his reasons, but I want my kid to go to college. And I don't want him in harm's way."
Gerry shook his head. He had no good advice to offer.
"So, you got into this because of Jensen?" Jared got back to his original question.
"Initially," his father agreed. "And then a couple of men I work with have ceiver sons. One of them had a really difficult time with it. I kept discovering people who've been affected by the program, and the balance kept tipping toward the loss and sadness side, rather than to the side of joy." He sipped his iced tea and took the final bite of his pastrami on rye. "I started investigating this resistance movement, this underground, and discovered it was a lot more organized and far-reaching than I had thought. There was more to it than graffiti and flyers and speakers at rallies in parking garages and empty lots."
Jared sipped his own tea and nodded.
"I started hearing names: Jervis was the first, and the one I hear most. Names of the others aren't as well known."
"He is sort of the figurehead--the rally point for us," Jared admitted. "Though he does much more than a figurehead usually does."
"And then there was this tall guy, this man that few people could really describe, or tell me what he did, except he seemed to always be there when people needed something. Support, secretly driving runaways or rescues safely out of town. Lending a voice at planning meetings, doing what he could."
Jared ducked his head--he'd had no idea anybody had noticed him or what he tried to do for the movement. He was surprised.
"The 'tall' caught my attention," his dad said, dryly. "Since that was about the only description anybody had of any of the people involved." He moved his glass in little circles, playing with the condensation rings on the table's surface. "I have noticed your unexplained absences and being late for get-togethers. And I checked with your firm--discreetly," he assured Jared as his son reacted with quickly concealed alarm. "It appears you've all but taken a sabbatical," he went on. "It's been weeks since you sought new work, though you've been turning in projects that are finished, and finalizing details. One might think you were preparing to resign."
Gerry stopped and waited, and Jared let the pause linger a bit.
"I've thought about it," Jared said quietly. "We have enough to live on comfortably. See the kids through school, more than pay the bills."
He sighed, shifted in his chair, kicking his feet out in front of him and crossing his ankles. "What am I working for, you know? I don't get the same thrill out of seeing my plans realized in stone and glass that I used to. And…with the movement, I feel like I'm accomplishing something. Making a difference." He raised his glass and took another long swallow. "And it's something I believe in, so the work feels like…"
"A worthy crusade," his father said, raising his glass in salute.
Jared snorted in response. "Nothing that noble."
They sat in companionable silence for a while longer, and then Gerry got up to go.
Jared rose too; they walked through the house, to the front door. His dad slung an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. "You keep me in the loop. I need to know what the both of you are up to."
"I will, Dad. Give Mom my love." He watched his father drive away, grateful for a source of support he hadn't counted on, and that he hadn't known or admitted, even to himself, that he needed.
* * *
JJ brought his new friend home from school, finally, and introduced him to Jensen. Glenn was a big kid, for his age, far closer to manhood at fifteen than JJ was. He was tall, broad-shouldered, wore his blond hair long--almost to his shoulders, and his jeans tight. They outlined muscles Jensen knew the boy had worked for, and as Jensen followed along when JJ took Glenn out to show him the gym, he saw Glenn's eyes light up when he saw the setup.
"Wow, this is great, Mr. A!" His grin was wide and white, and his blue eyes sparkled. Jensen thought they were just a little close together, but he supposed he was judging harshly. "Is it okay if JJ and I use the equipment sometime?"
"Sure," Jensen answered. "It looks like you know your way around a weight set. How much do you bench?"
Glenn launched into a detailed account of his workout regimen and the equipment he had—hand-me-downs from his brother, who had married, moved out, and was now working in another state. "But this stuff is way better than mine."
"Well, you're welcome to use it. There are a few rules, JJ can tell you," Jensen smiled and moved toward the door. "There are suits back in the shower room if you want to use the pool." He checked with his son. "JJ, you guys going to want snacks or drinks or something?"
"I can come get it, Dad. Thanks!"
The boys wound up in the pool after all, and after a shower, came into the house for snacks. They cued up a game on the TV, and were battling fiercely, talking trash and shouldering each other where they sat side-by-side on the couch. Jensen was only listening with half an ear as he put together the grocery list.
"Get me some food, bitch!" Glenn shoved JJ pretty hard, but JJ just giggled and laid his control aside, got up and headed for the kitchen.
"What do you want? We've got fruit, and there's hummus and chips, and--"
"Naw, not that girly stuff. How about nachos, you got nachos? Bring me some nachos. And soda!"
JJ came into the kitchen and started putting things together. Jensen lent a hand, saying nothing, as JJ smiled and went about assembling everything. He realized he couldn't carry it all, but rather than call Glenn to come help, he made three trips.
"Hey, where's the napkins? You forgot the napkins, dork!" Glenn scolded, and JJ ran back to the kitchen for a handful of paper napkins.
Jensen made himself keep quiet. Glenn was not his child; it wasn't his place to teach the boy manners. But it was his child Glenn was bossing around, and Jensen didn't like either his attitude or his tone of voice. Jensen regarded his youngest. JJ didn't seem to have a problem with it. In fact, he looked at Glenn with something close to hero worship.
* * *
"Honey, can we talk for a minute?" he had a mug in each hand, and raised one toward her, setting it down on the dining table when she nodded.
She looked startled, and a little apprehensive, but she came to the table and took a seat, reaching for her hot chocolate. "Sure, Dad. What's up?"
He sipped his chocolate, stalling while he tried to figure out how to ease into the subject. Finally, there was no way but to come out and ask. "Shannon, your Pop and I have noticed that you…don't seem to have friends over anymore the way you used to. Is something wrong? Something going on at school--?"
She shook her head, and didn't seem upset when she answered. "No, nothing like that."
"Did you have a fight with Polly? Or--"
"No, Dad. It's not like that." She took another sip of her chocolate, and he refrained from asking more. "I just--" Her eyes flicked up at his, and back down to the surface of her cup. "We just don't seem to have the same interests any more."
He waited, but when she didn't elaborate, he pushed a little. "Interests, like…"
She sighed, and he grinned when he saw her roll her eyes. "Boys," she said. "That's all they talk about, or think about--who they like, who they think likes them, all the time. It's--it gets boring ."
"Boys… are boring?"
"Well, they're not interesting to me. At least, not the same way as they are to Leila and Polly." She took a series of sips, blowing across the hot surface between each one. "I mean, Grant on the debate squad is okay. I spend a lot of time with him, and with Anna and Jack. We talk about stuff, you know? What's going on in the world, the state of the economy. Jack's dad is a stockbroker, so he has lots of ideas and opinions about what the country should be doing, versus what the government is doing."
Jensen hid his smile. "And what's the general opinion on that?"
"Dad." She shot him a grin under her brows, and then shrugged. "It changes. And a lot of the time Jack's full of shit--sorry." He let the language slide without comment. "But some of the time he makes sense. And he does make us think, with his crazy theories."
Jensen nodded and waited for her to go on.
"Anna has this way of looking at things, you know? She's so smart she makes the rest of us look like remedial class. But she also has this oblique way of seeing the truth of things, and then she's able to show you where the bullshit is in a lot of it--like advertising, or the music everybody's listening to this week, or that stupid Revolution movie that's breaking box office records right now."
"Is she pretty?" Jensen thought he was being subtle, but she took the question at face value.
"Oh, she's a knockout--red hair, big brown eyes, a gorgeous figure. She's got the male half and part of the female half of the school drooling over her behind her back." Shannon giggled. "She knows it, though. She thinks it's funny."
"And are you drooling over her?"
She gave him a blank look that faded to one he couldn't quite define. "Dad."
"What? Honey, it's perfectly okay if you like another girl--"
"No, Dad, it's not like that…" At his quirked eyebrow she went on, tentatively. "We…may have fooled around a little. Some." She flicked a glance at him, but he said nothing, just waited for her to go on, if she wanted. "But, no," she said, with a ring of finality. "No drooling. I mean, I like looking at her, but--no."
"So, no girls, either?"
She set her mug down and sat back in her chair, crossing her arms defensively. "I guess I'm really weird, huh?"
He stood, pulling her to her feet, and wrapped her tight in a hug. "You are not weird. You are my beautiful, intelligent, independent, awesome daughter." He drew back, catching the sparkle of tears, and wiped them away with the ball of a careful thumb. "And you are whatever you want to be." He hugged her again, and when she pulled away he let her go.
"Your Papa and I just worry about you. We want you to be happy."
"I am happy, Daddy." She turned those eyes on him, the same expression that reduced him to instant agreement when wielded by her Pop. He had even less defense against it with her. "I don't know yet what I do want, or will want, eventually. But right now? I'm good."
"You know you can talk to us. Me, or Pop, or both of us?"
"Always, Dad. I love you." She hugged him, quick and hard, and backed off, picking up both mugs and taking them to the sink.
"Love you too, baby girl." It was a promise.
* * *
Mac's high school graduation was almost an afterthought. He had asked, as a present, to have dinner the evening before the ceremony at a nice restaurant with his parents, Shannon and JJ, both sets of grandparents and the assorted aunts and uncles who were able to attend. Using the old "break bad news in public so they can't make a fuss" strategy, he informed everyone that he was taking a year off before heading to college.
"But what are you planning to do, Mac?" His granddad wanted to know. "Are you going to travel? See the world?" Nana started making a verbal list of relatives and acquaintances she could alert to house and feed him while he was in their city, and show him around.
He thanked her with a smile before declining the assistance. "My plans aren't firm just yet," he said. "I just feel that a year without classes before I tackle college will be good for me."
He had, actually, brought it up with Jensen the day before. His dad knew he was taking the time to work for the underground, and he begged Mac not to ruin his life, not to run the risk of getting arrested, or worse. He thought his dad was irrational about it, but he held firm, even in the face of such pleading and fear for him. Jensen had no choice but to accept it. At dinner, Jensen had nothing supportive to say, even when his parents asked if he had known about Mac's decision. But at least he didn't say anything negative.
They were all present the next afternoon to see him get his diploma and throw his cap in the air. He grinned and posed for pictures with friends he'd drifted out of touch with, suddenly reunited in the spirit of a milestone passed and shared history. But despite the smiles and hugs and mugging for photos, he doubted he'd see many of these people again, certainly not in any close or frequent way. He left with Sophie before the parties started. There were some supplies that needed to be inventoried, and he wanted to check in with Henry and Wynn, to see how the latest internet campaign had gone. Graduation parties seemed so…so high school, by comparison.
"Mac." They were snuggled on the couch not really watching the movie on TV. Sophie had been quiet all evening. He knew she was working up to something and he had a good idea what it was. "I-- I'm going to school in the fall."
He nodded. "I figured that was what's been bothering you," he said. "When did you decide?"
"I guess it's been coming for a while. Even though I went through all the motions--applications, touring, the whole thing--I didn't think I really planned to go. I was just going to stay here and work for the movement, with you." She glanced at him, hoping he would understand, but unable to meet his gaze for more than seconds at a time.
"So what happened?" He kept his voice soft, trying not to sound accusatory; he didn’t really want to be.
She shook her head. "I just--I think I need to get on with my life. I'm supposed to go to college and study and find out stuff, and learn who I am, you know? What I want to do with my life."
"And what about Sam?" he asked quietly.
"Mac, whatever we do, we're not going to get Sam out." She met his gaze then, candidly, chin firm.
"You don't think so?"
She shook her head. "Sam's already gone. I hardly hear from him any more, and when I do, he seems…fine. Changed. Almost…happy." She shrugged. "I'm tired of fighting for something that's lost already." Her expression pleaded with him to understand, for him to tell her it was all right. "I have to let go. I have to live my life, and try to find my own happiness. Is that so wrong?"
He folded his arms around her and tucked her head on his chest, beneath his chin. "Of course it isn't wrong. You deserve to be happy. You fought for him, as long as he wanted you to. I guess it's time for you to let go, now."
She snuggled in, and nodded, her face tucked against his shirt. "And what about you? Don't you get to stop fighting, too? You can still go to school--find out what's out there after high school, other than guerilla graffiti and rabble-rousing."
She felt his smile, and the little huff of a laugh. "Not this year," he answered. "Next year, probably. Without school I'll have more time to do different things, work harder, stay with a job from start to finish instead of helping around the edges on weekends and after school."
She lifted her head enough to be able to meet his eyes. "You won't take stupid risks? You'll be careful, all the time?" When he didn't answer right away, she tugged gently at his shirt. "Promise me. Promise me you won't be reckless and get yourself arrested, or worse."
He lifted her face to his and kissed her, taking his time, giving her whatever reassurance she could read from it, and tasting the bittersweet promise of goodbye..
eight
"Sick kid," Jensen said, sliding onto the bed behind JJ, pulling the boy to lie on his side, resting back a little against Jensen's chest. His free hand stroked over the forehead, no warmer than it should be, and up into the soft hair, petting and soothing. "Poor sick kid."
"Yeah," JJ nodded a little, leaning a little heavier on his dad.
"How long has this been going on?" Jensen wanted to know.
"It started about two weeks ago." JJ reached for the ginger ale and sipped a bit before he set the can back down.
"That long?"
"It was just--I just felt bad when I got up. It mostly went away during the day. I figured it was something bad I'd eaten, and I'd get over it."
Jensen smoothed the hair back, and JJ flopped his head on Jensen's shoulder, enjoying being coddled, a little. "But you didn't, huh?"
The head rolled back and forth on his shoulder. "It got worse."
"It got worse. But you didn't tell anybody, did you?"
"I had exams, Dad. And I thought it would get better. I just--"
"Tough guy. You were a real tough guy."
Big sigh, and another sip of soda. "Not so much, I guess, huh?"
"And now? Is it still bad?"
A nod, and a very tired, "Everything I try to eat just comes right back up."
"Any fever?" He felt the forehead again, and laid the back of his fingers against the boy's neck. His skin was warm, but only normally so.
"No."
"Anything else bothering you? You got the runs?"
"Ew. And no."
"Well, that's good, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Then I guess I'd better get you an appointment with Dr. Moss. What do you think?"
He squirmed a little bit, and his voice was plaintive. "Do I have to?"
"You want to get better?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'll make the call in the morning, see if he can work you in."
Big sigh. "'Kay." His voice broke a little, and when Jensen swept a palm over his face, he felt the wetness of tears.
"JJ? Does it hurt that bad?"
"No," the word came out on a little sob. "It's not that."
"Then what, kiddo?" This was killing him, Jensen couldn't stand to see his boy hurting. "What is it?"
JJ sniffled a little, and breathed out so quietly Jensen almost didn't hear. "Glenn."
"Glenn? What about him? Did he do something? Did he hurt you?"
"No!" He could feel the boy stiffen in protest. "I wanted to!"
There was a long moment, a very long moment when Jensen didn't breathe, and JJ seemed to be holding very still. "Dad? He. We. But then--since I've been sick, he said. He--" A deeper sob, and a mournful, "He said he didn't want to catch the death flu from me!" The last syllable came out on a wail, and the boy rolled away from Jensen to bury his face in his pillow and sob heartbrokenly.
And numbly, Jensen rubbed the shaking back soothingly while his mind tried to find another interpretation for what he had just heard. He was sure there had to be some other explanation. Something, surely. It wasn't what he was thinking, it wasn't. There was no way. It couldn't be.
"Jadge." Jensen’s hand kept up the soothing backrub while he struggled to keep his voice level. "JJ, come on, man. Look at me. Dude, whatever it is, we can talk about it, right? We'll figure it out, but you've got to tell me all of it. You've got to come clean with me."
Reluctantly, JJ straightened, swiped the tears from his face and grabbed a fistful of tissues from the box on the nightstand. He honked into them three or four times, and tossed the wad into the trashcan. He sipped his soda and set it back down, and finally turned to face his dad.
"Did you have sex with Glenn?" Jensen asked, outwardly calm though his heart was in his throat. JJ nodded, unable to meet his eyes. "Jadge, did he fuck you?" That got a wide-eyed glance before JJ quickly looked away again, and another nod. Jensen reached out and put a hand on the boy's shoulder to still the trembling that had begun. "Did you want to? Or did he make you?"
"No!" The denial was swift, even though he still couldn't meet Jensen's eyes. The next bit came out on a whisper. "I wanted him to."
The trembling had stopped, and Jensen nodded. "How long have you been having sex?"
"A-a few weeks," he managed to get out.
"A month?" When there was no response, he pressed. "Two?"
JJ nodded his head. "About th-that long."
"And you haven't been together since you got sick?" JJ shook his head no. "So, about two weeks?"
"Yeah. He d-didn't w-want…" The words dissolved into heartbroken sobs again, and Jensen just pulled him in and let him cry, stroking his hair and his back, murmuring comforting sounds till he finally quieted, snuffling against Jensen's shirt.
"Dude. I am so never going to wear this shirt again," Jensen told him, still holding him close.
"It'll wash," the boy said, face still smushed into the fabric.
There's my boy, he thought. That's better. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He waited until the tension had all left JJ's body, then eased him down on the bed. "You think you can sleep now?" JJ nodded. "Yeah? You want me to stay?"
"Till I fall asleep?" His voice was quiet, but a lot less troubled than it had been earlier.
"Sure. You got it." Jensen turned off all the lights but the one on the desk, and rolled the desk chair over beside the bed. Almost before he sat down, JJ's breathing evened out and he was asleep. Jensen sat for another ten minutes before he got up, replaced the desk chair, turned off the desk lamp, and left the room, pulling the door almost closed as he left.
He checked his pockets: car keys in the right-hand, cell phone in the left, wallet in the left hip. Good to go. He stopped in the kitchen and left a note on the fridge not to disturb JJ and let him sleep, that Jensen would be back in a half-hour.
The note was still there when he got back. Neither Jared nor the older kids had gotten home yet. He threw the note away, and carried the bag from the drugstore upstairs to JJ's room. He stood looking down at his sleeping child, waiting for the courage to take the next necessary step. Finally, he leaned down and shook JJ gently by the shoulder.
"Hey, sick kid. I need you to get up for a few minutes."
JJ hadn't been asleep long enough to sink deep yet; he was fairly easy to rouse. Jensen led him into the bathroom and took the boxes out of the bag, opening the first one. He took out the contents, and read the enclosed instructions aloud before handing JJ the piece of plastic. The kid's eyes were round with disbelief, and he shook his head in confusion. "We just need to be sure, bud. Do what I said."
And Jensen left him alone to get on with it. He left the door open, though, so he could hear the stream hitting the water in the bowl. There was a flush, and the water ran in the basin, briefly. JJ came out, unable to look his dad in the face. "Have a seat on the bed," Jensen told him. "It'll be a few minutes."
There was no mistake. Jensen had read the indicators for himself years ago, all four times, he knew what the double blue line meant. JJ was shaking and incoherent and heading toward either hysterics or a panic attack, and Jensen wrapped him up in his arms and rocked him like a very small child and promised he'd keep him safe, that his family loved him, they'd take care of him, and he was not to worry about this. When he had calmed down, Jensen put him to bed and sat until he was finally asleep. JJ's phone was on the dresser and Jensen hesitated less than a moment before tucking it into his own pocket. Then he went down to the garage and hunted around till he found the old baby monitor, put new batteries in it and set the transmitter up in JJ's room, taking the receiver with him, putting it on the coffee table. He woke up his laptop and hit a couple of websites, and then he turned on the TV for something mindless to do until Jared and the other kids got home.
It was almost a two-hour wait, and it was Shannon who got home first. She said goodnight, and went up to bed. He reminded her that JJ was sick, and asked her to try not to wake him. Jared eventually arrived, and told him Mac had gone home with someone from the rally they had attended. Jared was on a high with the success of the latest campaign, and full of the possibilities of the plans they were making. Jensen tried to wait him out, letting him run down and shed some of the excess energy. But, excited and happy, Jared just kept talking. "Jensen, I know how you feel about all this, but we're doing some good! We're actually making headway, Repro is actually starting to get pressure on some things. I honestly don't think--"
"Jared, sit down and listen to me." Jensen hated to use that tone. If he'd had the time to devote to it, he might share Jared's happiness. As it was, he sort of hated to deflate that exuberance, but reality had to be dealt with.
"Jensen--is something wrong?"
He took a deep breath. He'd tried to rehearse in his head what he was going to say, the words he would use to tell Jared. But now the moment was here, he just had to get it out. "I don't have time to sugarcoat this, Jared. You just have to listen to me for a minute." He had Jared's attention now, and pressed forward without taking time for preparation or soft-pedaling. "JJ's pregnant."
"What?" Jared's expression was blank, uncomprehending, as if his husband had spoken in a foreign language.
"Trust me, he's tested positive three times."
"But--how? Who? How did--he's not."
"Apparently he is. He was a late-bloomer; we all knew that. Somehow he slipped through the screening without being identified. But he and his jerk of a boyfriend have been…together, for a while now. You know JJ's been kinda off, lately. Sick and throwing up and stuff. I just--I pinned him down and asked some questions, and then I got a few tests and…they're all positive. He's pregnant."
Jared looked as dumbfounded as Jensen had felt when he first found out. "That's--um."
Jensen nodded. "About the size of it. Look." He grabbed Jared's hand, in solidarity, and also to focus Jared's attention on him. "I booked two tickets to Ireland for early tomorrow afternoon."
"What? Wait--what--"
"Jared. He can't even see a doctor. We have no way of knowing if he's okay, if everything's all right. I take him to a doctor here, the doctor has to report it, and Repro swoops in and takes custody of him, and the baby."
"No!" Jared reacted instantly. "That's not--no. We can't let that happen."
"Right. So JJ and I are going on a visit to relatives in Ireland. I just want to get him safely out of the country, as fast as possible. Get him examined, make sure he's okay, that everything's fine with the pregnancy. Then we can figure out the next step, right?"
"I need to be there, too. He's my baby boy."
"Well, sure. But I figured you and the kids can get yourselves organized in the next few days and fly over for a vacation. Maybe our parents and the rest of the family too, in stages, maybe, and if they want to."
Jared was nodding, seeing the sense of the plan.
"But the urgent thing is getting him out of the country and getting him looked at by a doctor--getting him under a doctor's care."
"Absolutely," Jared agreed. "Where is he?"
"He's upstairs, sleeping, I hope. He's been so upset, afraid to talk to anybody about how he's been feeling physically, and feeling guilty for being in a sexual relationship, because he was afraid we wouldn't approve."
"Well, I guess it's a little late to say I disapprove." Jared reached out and pulled Jensen in for a hug. "How does he feel about it, now that he knows?"
Jensen smiled up at his husband. "Honestly? He's scared. But also a little excited, now he knows we're not going to throw him under the bus and let Repro have him."
"He didn't think--?"
"I don't know what he thought, Jared. Just that he was alone and didn't know what was happening to him, and he wasn't sure who he could ask about it, ask for help."
"God, the poor little guy. Wait--the boyfriend, Glenn. It is Glenn, right? Does he know?"
He could feel Jensen flinch, and then draw away, slowly, almost reluctantly. "I don't think he has any idea."
Jared just nodded, lost for a moment in thought before he spoke. "We can't tell him. My first instinct is to kill him, but then we'd have to explain why, and-- We just can't tell him."
Jensen met his eyes, unsmiling. "I agree. JJ's upset about it. He says it's Glenn's baby too, that he has a right to know. But you know what will happen if we tell Glenn and his folks."
Jared suspected he knew very well.
"Besides, Glenn seems to have disappeared lately, since JJ's been too sick to hang out like usual."
"I know Glenn's just a kid himself, but I--" Jared ran a hand through his hair. "I backed off and let JJ pick his own friends, tried to trust his judgment and keep my opinions to myself." He slanted a look at Jensen. "But honestly? I never liked the kid. There's just something…off, about him."
Jensen nodded. "Kinda skeevy."
Jared snorted a half-laugh.
"What? The kids don't say skeevy anymore? Perfectly good word." Jensen pulled JJ's phone from his pocket and held it out to Jared. "Take it. I didn't want him calling Glenn before--well, at all." He stood and took a couple of aimless steps, not really having a direction or an action in mind, just unable to sit still.
Jared took the phone, checked it was on mute, and slipped it into his own pocket. "You think he'll want it later?"
"Honestly? I think you should keep it here. If he has it, he's going to call this Glenn. He thinks they're in love." Jensen shot a look at Jared, skeptical but weary. "I'm not saying one or both of them isn't in love. But Jesus, they're young. What are they going to feel in five years? Ten? Plus, aside from that, I'm just terrified that if Glenn finds out, he'll tell somebody, word will get to Repro, and somehow they'll extradite JJ, even if we do get him to Ireland." Jensen rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck. The tension was taking a toll. "If the phone is on him, could they track him by GPS? How does that work, exactly?"
Jared stood and clamped down on his husband's shoulders, gripping and massaging at the knots in the muscle he could feel there
.
"Mmm," Jensen's head sagged forward as the massage took effect. "Should I be looking for a country that doesn't extradite? I don't know. I can't think--" he hissed as Jared hit a tender spot. Taking note, Jared worked the ball of his thumb into the spot until he could feel it soften, and Jensen flexed the muscle under Jared's hand. Jensen sighed. "And I can't stop thinking. The wheels won't stop spinning."
Jared wrapped his arms around his husband and pulled him close, Jensen's back against his chest. He put his mouth next to Jensen's ear and said, "You've done a lot of thinking tonight. Time to let it go till morning."
Jensen pushed against his hold. "But--"
Jared tightened his hug. "Enough. Come to bed. Bring the monitor thing, so we can hear if he gets sick, or gets up and starts looking for a phone." When Jensen stood immobile, evidently unpersuaded, Jared said, "I don't know when I'm going to see you again, man. Come to bed."
At that, Jensen relaxed into Jared's embrace, and nodded. "Yeah. Okay."
Jensen thought about lighting some candles, putting on some music, making this a night for them both to remember. But he could do that without the props. He took control of the kiss, and laid Jared back on their bed, slowly stripping both of them of their clothes. Jared tried to help, but Jensen kissed him deeper and rumbled into his ear, "Let me."
Naked, both of them, he made love to Jared, kissing, nibbling, caressing, until Jared was impatient, grabbing and rubbing against him. Jensen took his hands, crossed them at the wrist and pressed them to the bed above Jared's head. "No touching," he growled. Jared shuddered in reaction, and whined in protest, but Jensen bit down on a nipple and Jared arched off the mattress, seeking more contact. Jensen laid his full weight along Jared's body, and used every part of it to rub and grind and arouse. Both of them were gasping, hot breath and wet kisses, and Jensen slid low enough to kiss and bite down Jared's neck to his collarbones, then spent minutes paying his nipples due attention.
"--Jensen!" Jared curled up, seeking Jensen's mouth, and Jensen evaded him using a hand on his chest to push him flat.
"Stay," he commanded, before licking along Jared's stomach, outlining each cut of his abs with his tongue. Jared's hips bucked up off the mattress, and Jensen rolled them enough to bare one buttock, which he smacked, hard, with the flat of his hand. "Still!" he insisted, but he couldn't hide the smile in his voice.
"Mean!" Jared complained on a gasp, and Jensen went lower, licking over the cut of his hip, perfect now as it was the first time he'd done this, and into his navel. Before Jared could writhe and complain much more, Jensen opened his mouth and swallowed him whole, right to the base, and Jared yelled and went tense as a bowstring, to keep from shoving up into Jensen's mouth and choking him dead.
Jensen slid off, an inch at a time, till he held the glans on the tip of his tongue, grinning as he moved just enough to rub at the frenum.
"God. Jensen, I swear--" The rest of the words were lost as Jensen slid down again, and back up, his tongue pressing hard against the underside, his teeth scraping lightly, just enough to drive Jared crazy. Jared looked down, and the evil green eyes looking back at him were suddenly soft and brimming with love, and Jared was right on the edge. Jensen pulled off, wrapped his hand around the base of Jared's cock to help hold off his orgasm.
His fingers, already slicked, rubbed at Jared's opening: one, two. Jared lifted his hands and grasped Jensen's shoulders, pulling at him, come here, come closer. Jensen's cock replaced his fingers, and he slid in, slowly, excruciatingly slowly, and once fully sheathed, he moved back and forth in tiny, tiny increments.
"Killing me!" Jared moaned.
"Yeah? Sound pretty alive to me," Jensen teased, and then slammed in hard. He grinned, showing all his teeth, as Jared yelled again, and then settled down to ride him hard, one hand sliding on Jared's cock along with his thrusts.
Jared came. An avalanche fell on him, and he came, and then he died. Jensen chuckled, stroked once, twice, three times, stilled, and shuddered, and lay heavy on top of the body, until Jared moaned a complaint.
"Heavy."
Jensen kissed his chin. "You're a big boy," he told him. "You can take it."
"Nuh," Jared rolled his head from side to side and wiggled under Jensen's weight.
"Killed me dead. Geddoff." When Jensen started to slide to the side, Jared caught him in both arms. "Do I need to tell you I love you?"
"Mmm," Jensen nosed behind his ear. "That's nice to know, Grampa. That's gonna keep me warm till I see you again." And then he got up, got a warm washcloth, and cleaned them both up before they settled in to sleep in each other's arms.
* * *
Jensen tapped lightly at Shannon's door. "Nonni?"
Bedclothes rustled, and after a minute, "Yeah? Wha's going on?"
"Can I come in?"
"Sure, Dad," she said on a yawn. She was sitting up, stretching, when he went and sat on the side of her bed.
"Sweetheart, we've got a little problem, and I need to ask your help."
"'kay?"
"There's just no way to tell you this but to come out and say it, and I need you to keep a handle on your reaction, okay?"
She nodded, solemn now, eyes wide with concern.
"Your brother's gotten himself in a little fix--"
"Oh my god, did Mac get arrested? The stupid--"
Jensen put a hand on her knee to quiet her. "It's not Mac, honey, it's JJ. He's pregnant."
"What?"
"I know, it's a surprise to all of us," he told her, and she nodded, wide-eyed. "Here's the thing. He can't see a doctor here, or--"
"Repro…" She was already onboard.
"They'll take him," Jensen agreed.
But she was already thinking ahead. "They'll take the baby." Her expression was grim. "It's that boyfriend of his--Glenn, right? Does he know?"
"Not yet. And he can't know. Not ever, you know that, right?"
Shocked, she looked back at him, and then things fell into place, unavoidable consequences, and she nodded. He didn't let her worry long.
"I've got tickets for a flight this afternoon, I'm taking him to Ireland--"
She nodded, and threw back the covers, scrambled out of bed and went to her closet. "Book another ticket," she told him. "I'm coming too."
"Nonni--"
"Daddy, you know how he gets. You can't keep an eye on him every minute. He'll get to a phone--"
"Papa has his phone," Jensen assured her.
"Public phone," she snapped, and he had to admit he hadn't thought of that, while she was pulling out her backpack and opening dresser drawers. "They still have them in the airport. He'll call Glenn, and word will eventually get to Repro. Even if you get him out, they can extradite him. Two of us can watch him better than one, and he may be less upset if I'm along, too."
Jensen had to concede on a couple of her points. Still--
"Ticket, Dad! Get me on the same flight!" The bag was nearly packed, she found the pair of shoes she'd been pawing around on the floor for, and threw them into the bag. She started the shower. "I'll watch him as soon as I'm dressed. Call the airline now!"
He looked at the closed door she'd disappeared behind, feeling a bit steamrollered, but also like he had a partner in this unexpected venture. He checked the hall, but JJ's door was as he had left it last night. He stood where he could see if his youngest emerged, pulled out his own phone and redialed the airline.
It took some fancy footwork, and an extortionate amount of cash, but he not only booked Shannon a seat, but got them all in the same row. Not many folks flying to Ireland on a weekday afternoon, apparently. He left her to watch JJ's door while he went to let Jared know two of his kids were going to Ireland.
"She's so sharp," Jensen told him, raiding the cupboards for a sleeve of saltines. "She was on it in an instant."
"Well, she's right," Jared pulled him in for a hug, chest snugged up against Jensen's back, swaying slightly in place. He was going to miss this. Miss Jensen. Miss being able to touch him, talk to him, hear and see and smell him. He tucked his nose into Jensen's neck and inhaled. He wanted to save this moment. "He'll be a lot easier to keep calm and distracted with her than without her."
Jensen nodded. "I wonder what this does to her opinions about Repro, though. She--she's worried about them taking the baby, as well as JJ."
"I don't know, but I'm proud of her right now."
They decided to let JJ sleep a little longer--the less time he had to think and worry before they got him safely out of the country, the better. Jensen headed back upstairs with the crackers, to send Shannon down for breakfast.
In the end, it went relatively well. Jared drove them to the airport, left the truck in short-term parking and waited with them until they went through security. JJ mentioned, a couple of times, calling Glenn, but they managed to distract him. Shannon chattered at him about their old place in Ireland, whether their friends from the village would be there, and would they be glad to see them.
"How long are we going to stay, Dad?" he wanted to know.
He and Jared had decided to wait until he was safely on Irish soil to tell their youngest that he wouldn't be coming home. They couldn't help a quick conspiratorial glance between them, but Shannon covered. "Well, a few days, anyway. We'll want to visit, spend some time with friends. Do you remember…?" And she was away with memories of escapades and friends they'd shared them with.
It was time to go, and Jared grabbed his daughter, wrapping her in a fierce, tight hug. "So proud of you, Nonni," he whispered.
Her fingers clutched in his shirt and she muttered, on the edge of tears, "Love you, Papa. See you soon!" before she let go and gave place to JJ.
"Okay, runt. You stay out of trouble, okay? Don't make your sister crazy and run your Dad ragged. I'll miss you."
JJ clutched at him, reluctant to turn loose, but Jared hugged him hard and set him back, smiling into the face that was fighting back tears. "I love you, Pop."
"Love you too, Jadge."
The kids walked toward the scanners. Worried, Jensen had done some quick online research last night. The scanners weren't detailed enough to detect an early pregnancy, and the radiation of one scan was negligible. Shannon pulled off her shoes and set her backpack in the tray, and JJ followed suit.
Jensen hugged Jared hard. "Stay safe. Tell Mac we love him."
"You too," Jared hugged back. "I will. You call when you get there."
Jensen nodded. "We'll see you both next week?"
"As soon as we can," Jared agreed. It was hard to let go, but Jared watched as Jensen went through the scanner without a hitch, and met the kids on the other side. They waved, and he waved back, and watched until they were out of sight.
go to part nine
chapters 7-8
seven
Jervis was over the moon about the meeting with Padalecki. He and Mark and Malik met to discuss the focus of the emerging public face of the movement, which was very scary to think about.
They had all been used to taking such precautions to keep their identities and their activities secret, to strike quick and disappear even more quickly in dealing with the public and with the authorities. To be able to even contemplate putting a public face on the movement was exciting, exhilarating, and full of pitfalls and dangers. What they were doing, what they were encouraging others to do, was still illegal, and still punishable by very tough penalties. Just because the movement was beginning to find public support didn't mean stepping forward and speaking out was without the real risk of consequences. Whatever could be proved against them faced full retaliation by the Department, and they and their efforts would be closely watched, thoroughly scrutinized and examined by the agencies that the Department controlled.
Still, Jared admitted, the strides they had made and the ones they were making were promising, and things looked positive for the future.
He couldn't help wondering though, how his dad had known he was involved. He asked him to lunch at the house and Jared built them sandwiches, which they ate in the shade on the patio by the pool.
"I've been keeping an ear to the ground for a while," Gerry answered his question. “It's been a slow process, I guess, probably slower than I'm proud to admit."
"But I'm proud of you." Jared was quick to insist. "So many just--don't think about it at all. It's just a fact of life, why bother about it?"
"It started with Jensen. We didn't even think about it at the time, but looking back now, he was so devastated when he first came to you. His parents could barely speak to us, and we just…were so happy about everything. I remember thinking how sour and unpleasant they were, and how sullen he seemed. It just didn’t make any sense to us, then."
Jared nodded. He had his own memories of that time.
"And the 'appearances', when he was pregnant the first time?" Gerry shook his head and sipped at his iced tea. "I thought he was aloof and hateful, because he kept himself apart, he wouldn't come and talk to us, he wasn't excited and happy, like we were. I look back now and see how truly desperately unhappy he was, and what a tight grip he was keeping on his emotions. As time has gone on, I've been terribly sorry for being so caught up in my own expectations and not even acknowledging what he was going through."
Jared nodded. "He's forgiven us, though. All of us. Even me." He met his dad's eyes. "You know he loves you, right? He's never held a grudge."
"It was a fine thing you did, getting his status reversed."
"It went a long way to make things right between us." Jared paused, and then admitted something he had never told anyone. "I've been ashamed that I waited. That I didn't have the courage to petition for his citizenship before the accident."
Gerry eyed him sharply. "You know that would never have been granted."
"I know. But it cost Repro nothing to release a ceiver who was barren. It's an almost futile gesture. I should have been braver."
"Son," his father's hand came down on his arm, tightening briefly. "It wouldn't have mattered. Not as long as he was fertile. And the fact is, you did step up and petition for his release. If you hadn't, he would still be living as a ceiver, even though he really isn't one any longer." He took another sip of tea and set down his glass. "I've wondered, is Jensen involved in this?"
"No, Dad. And he's so paranoid about Mac and me--" His father reacted, as he'd expected, and Jared explained. "Mac’s girlfriend's little brother is a ceiver, and she got him involved. I got into it just to keep an eye on him."
"How deep is he in?"
"As deep as I'll let him be, maybe deeper."
"Well, we'll pack him off to school in the fall--" he stopped, Jared's expression clue enough.
"He has to go to school, Jared."
"And he will. Just--maybe not next year. I hope he'll have his involvement and make the difference he wants to make, get some of this…crusader impulse out of his system, and be ready to go to school year after next. That's the plan."
His father looked dubious.
"Better this way than if we pack him off to school and he cuts all his classes and gets involved with the movement there, where I can't keep an eye on him and help keep him safe."
Reluctantly, Gerry nodded. "You have a point. How does Jensen feel about that?"
Jared refused to meet his dad's eyes. "He doesn't know. Yet. Honestly, Dad, after what he went through with Repro, he's so scared for any of us to go up against them. He's convinced they're going to find out and arrest us, and put us all in prison--even you and mom, and his parents. He believes Repro will take everything we have and put Shannon and JJ in foster care. He's terrified whenever the subject comes up. He won't listen when we try to talk to him. He's stopped begging us to get out of it, but he hasn't given up.
"And I have no idea how he's going to take it when he finds out Mac's not heading for college in the fall. Frankly, I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I mean, obviously I understand his reasons, but I want my kid to go to college. And I don't want him in harm's way."
Gerry shook his head. He had no good advice to offer.
"So, you got into this because of Jensen?" Jared got back to his original question.
"Initially," his father agreed. "And then a couple of men I work with have ceiver sons. One of them had a really difficult time with it. I kept discovering people who've been affected by the program, and the balance kept tipping toward the loss and sadness side, rather than to the side of joy." He sipped his iced tea and took the final bite of his pastrami on rye. "I started investigating this resistance movement, this underground, and discovered it was a lot more organized and far-reaching than I had thought. There was more to it than graffiti and flyers and speakers at rallies in parking garages and empty lots."
Jared sipped his own tea and nodded.
"I started hearing names: Jervis was the first, and the one I hear most. Names of the others aren't as well known."
"He is sort of the figurehead--the rally point for us," Jared admitted. "Though he does much more than a figurehead usually does."
"And then there was this tall guy, this man that few people could really describe, or tell me what he did, except he seemed to always be there when people needed something. Support, secretly driving runaways or rescues safely out of town. Lending a voice at planning meetings, doing what he could."
Jared ducked his head--he'd had no idea anybody had noticed him or what he tried to do for the movement. He was surprised.
"The 'tall' caught my attention," his dad said, dryly. "Since that was about the only description anybody had of any of the people involved." He moved his glass in little circles, playing with the condensation rings on the table's surface. "I have noticed your unexplained absences and being late for get-togethers. And I checked with your firm--discreetly," he assured Jared as his son reacted with quickly concealed alarm. "It appears you've all but taken a sabbatical," he went on. "It's been weeks since you sought new work, though you've been turning in projects that are finished, and finalizing details. One might think you were preparing to resign."
Gerry stopped and waited, and Jared let the pause linger a bit.
"I've thought about it," Jared said quietly. "We have enough to live on comfortably. See the kids through school, more than pay the bills."
He sighed, shifted in his chair, kicking his feet out in front of him and crossing his ankles. "What am I working for, you know? I don't get the same thrill out of seeing my plans realized in stone and glass that I used to. And…with the movement, I feel like I'm accomplishing something. Making a difference." He raised his glass and took another long swallow. "And it's something I believe in, so the work feels like…"
"A worthy crusade," his father said, raising his glass in salute.
Jared snorted in response. "Nothing that noble."
They sat in companionable silence for a while longer, and then Gerry got up to go.
Jared rose too; they walked through the house, to the front door. His dad slung an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. "You keep me in the loop. I need to know what the both of you are up to."
"I will, Dad. Give Mom my love." He watched his father drive away, grateful for a source of support he hadn't counted on, and that he hadn't known or admitted, even to himself, that he needed.
* * *
JJ brought his new friend home from school, finally, and introduced him to Jensen. Glenn was a big kid, for his age, far closer to manhood at fifteen than JJ was. He was tall, broad-shouldered, wore his blond hair long--almost to his shoulders, and his jeans tight. They outlined muscles Jensen knew the boy had worked for, and as Jensen followed along when JJ took Glenn out to show him the gym, he saw Glenn's eyes light up when he saw the setup.
"Wow, this is great, Mr. A!" His grin was wide and white, and his blue eyes sparkled. Jensen thought they were just a little close together, but he supposed he was judging harshly. "Is it okay if JJ and I use the equipment sometime?"
"Sure," Jensen answered. "It looks like you know your way around a weight set. How much do you bench?"
Glenn launched into a detailed account of his workout regimen and the equipment he had—hand-me-downs from his brother, who had married, moved out, and was now working in another state. "But this stuff is way better than mine."
"Well, you're welcome to use it. There are a few rules, JJ can tell you," Jensen smiled and moved toward the door. "There are suits back in the shower room if you want to use the pool." He checked with his son. "JJ, you guys going to want snacks or drinks or something?"
"I can come get it, Dad. Thanks!"
The boys wound up in the pool after all, and after a shower, came into the house for snacks. They cued up a game on the TV, and were battling fiercely, talking trash and shouldering each other where they sat side-by-side on the couch. Jensen was only listening with half an ear as he put together the grocery list.
"Get me some food, bitch!" Glenn shoved JJ pretty hard, but JJ just giggled and laid his control aside, got up and headed for the kitchen.
"What do you want? We've got fruit, and there's hummus and chips, and--"
"Naw, not that girly stuff. How about nachos, you got nachos? Bring me some nachos. And soda!"
JJ came into the kitchen and started putting things together. Jensen lent a hand, saying nothing, as JJ smiled and went about assembling everything. He realized he couldn't carry it all, but rather than call Glenn to come help, he made three trips.
"Hey, where's the napkins? You forgot the napkins, dork!" Glenn scolded, and JJ ran back to the kitchen for a handful of paper napkins.
Jensen made himself keep quiet. Glenn was not his child; it wasn't his place to teach the boy manners. But it was his child Glenn was bossing around, and Jensen didn't like either his attitude or his tone of voice. Jensen regarded his youngest. JJ didn't seem to have a problem with it. In fact, he looked at Glenn with something close to hero worship.
* * *
"Honey, can we talk for a minute?" he had a mug in each hand, and raised one toward her, setting it down on the dining table when she nodded.
She looked startled, and a little apprehensive, but she came to the table and took a seat, reaching for her hot chocolate. "Sure, Dad. What's up?"
He sipped his chocolate, stalling while he tried to figure out how to ease into the subject. Finally, there was no way but to come out and ask. "Shannon, your Pop and I have noticed that you…don't seem to have friends over anymore the way you used to. Is something wrong? Something going on at school--?"
She shook her head, and didn't seem upset when she answered. "No, nothing like that."
"Did you have a fight with Polly? Or--"
"No, Dad. It's not like that." She took another sip of her chocolate, and he refrained from asking more. "I just--" Her eyes flicked up at his, and back down to the surface of her cup. "We just don't seem to have the same interests any more."
He waited, but when she didn't elaborate, he pushed a little. "Interests, like…"
She sighed, and he grinned when he saw her roll her eyes. "Boys," she said. "That's all they talk about, or think about--who they like, who they think likes them, all the time. It's--it gets boring ."
"Boys… are boring?"
"Well, they're not interesting to me. At least, not the same way as they are to Leila and Polly." She took a series of sips, blowing across the hot surface between each one. "I mean, Grant on the debate squad is okay. I spend a lot of time with him, and with Anna and Jack. We talk about stuff, you know? What's going on in the world, the state of the economy. Jack's dad is a stockbroker, so he has lots of ideas and opinions about what the country should be doing, versus what the government is doing."
Jensen hid his smile. "And what's the general opinion on that?"
"Dad." She shot him a grin under her brows, and then shrugged. "It changes. And a lot of the time Jack's full of shit--sorry." He let the language slide without comment. "But some of the time he makes sense. And he does make us think, with his crazy theories."
Jensen nodded and waited for her to go on.
"Anna has this way of looking at things, you know? She's so smart she makes the rest of us look like remedial class. But she also has this oblique way of seeing the truth of things, and then she's able to show you where the bullshit is in a lot of it--like advertising, or the music everybody's listening to this week, or that stupid Revolution movie that's breaking box office records right now."
"Is she pretty?" Jensen thought he was being subtle, but she took the question at face value.
"Oh, she's a knockout--red hair, big brown eyes, a gorgeous figure. She's got the male half and part of the female half of the school drooling over her behind her back." Shannon giggled. "She knows it, though. She thinks it's funny."
"And are you drooling over her?"
She gave him a blank look that faded to one he couldn't quite define. "Dad."
"What? Honey, it's perfectly okay if you like another girl--"
"No, Dad, it's not like that…" At his quirked eyebrow she went on, tentatively. "We…may have fooled around a little. Some." She flicked a glance at him, but he said nothing, just waited for her to go on, if she wanted. "But, no," she said, with a ring of finality. "No drooling. I mean, I like looking at her, but--no."
"So, no girls, either?"
She set her mug down and sat back in her chair, crossing her arms defensively. "I guess I'm really weird, huh?"
He stood, pulling her to her feet, and wrapped her tight in a hug. "You are not weird. You are my beautiful, intelligent, independent, awesome daughter." He drew back, catching the sparkle of tears, and wiped them away with the ball of a careful thumb. "And you are whatever you want to be." He hugged her again, and when she pulled away he let her go.
"Your Papa and I just worry about you. We want you to be happy."
"I am happy, Daddy." She turned those eyes on him, the same expression that reduced him to instant agreement when wielded by her Pop. He had even less defense against it with her. "I don't know yet what I do want, or will want, eventually. But right now? I'm good."
"You know you can talk to us. Me, or Pop, or both of us?"
"Always, Dad. I love you." She hugged him, quick and hard, and backed off, picking up both mugs and taking them to the sink.
"Love you too, baby girl." It was a promise.
* * *
Mac's high school graduation was almost an afterthought. He had asked, as a present, to have dinner the evening before the ceremony at a nice restaurant with his parents, Shannon and JJ, both sets of grandparents and the assorted aunts and uncles who were able to attend. Using the old "break bad news in public so they can't make a fuss" strategy, he informed everyone that he was taking a year off before heading to college.
"But what are you planning to do, Mac?" His granddad wanted to know. "Are you going to travel? See the world?" Nana started making a verbal list of relatives and acquaintances she could alert to house and feed him while he was in their city, and show him around.
He thanked her with a smile before declining the assistance. "My plans aren't firm just yet," he said. "I just feel that a year without classes before I tackle college will be good for me."
He had, actually, brought it up with Jensen the day before. His dad knew he was taking the time to work for the underground, and he begged Mac not to ruin his life, not to run the risk of getting arrested, or worse. He thought his dad was irrational about it, but he held firm, even in the face of such pleading and fear for him. Jensen had no choice but to accept it. At dinner, Jensen had nothing supportive to say, even when his parents asked if he had known about Mac's decision. But at least he didn't say anything negative.
They were all present the next afternoon to see him get his diploma and throw his cap in the air. He grinned and posed for pictures with friends he'd drifted out of touch with, suddenly reunited in the spirit of a milestone passed and shared history. But despite the smiles and hugs and mugging for photos, he doubted he'd see many of these people again, certainly not in any close or frequent way. He left with Sophie before the parties started. There were some supplies that needed to be inventoried, and he wanted to check in with Henry and Wynn, to see how the latest internet campaign had gone. Graduation parties seemed so…so high school, by comparison.
"Mac." They were snuggled on the couch not really watching the movie on TV. Sophie had been quiet all evening. He knew she was working up to something and he had a good idea what it was. "I-- I'm going to school in the fall."
He nodded. "I figured that was what's been bothering you," he said. "When did you decide?"
"I guess it's been coming for a while. Even though I went through all the motions--applications, touring, the whole thing--I didn't think I really planned to go. I was just going to stay here and work for the movement, with you." She glanced at him, hoping he would understand, but unable to meet his gaze for more than seconds at a time.
"So what happened?" He kept his voice soft, trying not to sound accusatory; he didn’t really want to be.
She shook her head. "I just--I think I need to get on with my life. I'm supposed to go to college and study and find out stuff, and learn who I am, you know? What I want to do with my life."
"And what about Sam?" he asked quietly.
"Mac, whatever we do, we're not going to get Sam out." She met his gaze then, candidly, chin firm.
"You don't think so?"
She shook her head. "Sam's already gone. I hardly hear from him any more, and when I do, he seems…fine. Changed. Almost…happy." She shrugged. "I'm tired of fighting for something that's lost already." Her expression pleaded with him to understand, for him to tell her it was all right. "I have to let go. I have to live my life, and try to find my own happiness. Is that so wrong?"
He folded his arms around her and tucked her head on his chest, beneath his chin. "Of course it isn't wrong. You deserve to be happy. You fought for him, as long as he wanted you to. I guess it's time for you to let go, now."
She snuggled in, and nodded, her face tucked against his shirt. "And what about you? Don't you get to stop fighting, too? You can still go to school--find out what's out there after high school, other than guerilla graffiti and rabble-rousing."
She felt his smile, and the little huff of a laugh. "Not this year," he answered. "Next year, probably. Without school I'll have more time to do different things, work harder, stay with a job from start to finish instead of helping around the edges on weekends and after school."
She lifted her head enough to be able to meet his eyes. "You won't take stupid risks? You'll be careful, all the time?" When he didn't answer right away, she tugged gently at his shirt. "Promise me. Promise me you won't be reckless and get yourself arrested, or worse."
He lifted her face to his and kissed her, taking his time, giving her whatever reassurance she could read from it, and tasting the bittersweet promise of goodbye..
"Sick kid," Jensen said, sliding onto the bed behind JJ, pulling the boy to lie on his side, resting back a little against Jensen's chest. His free hand stroked over the forehead, no warmer than it should be, and up into the soft hair, petting and soothing. "Poor sick kid."
"Yeah," JJ nodded a little, leaning a little heavier on his dad.
"How long has this been going on?" Jensen wanted to know.
"It started about two weeks ago." JJ reached for the ginger ale and sipped a bit before he set the can back down.
"That long?"
"It was just--I just felt bad when I got up. It mostly went away during the day. I figured it was something bad I'd eaten, and I'd get over it."
Jensen smoothed the hair back, and JJ flopped his head on Jensen's shoulder, enjoying being coddled, a little. "But you didn't, huh?"
The head rolled back and forth on his shoulder. "It got worse."
"It got worse. But you didn't tell anybody, did you?"
"I had exams, Dad. And I thought it would get better. I just--"
"Tough guy. You were a real tough guy."
Big sigh, and another sip of soda. "Not so much, I guess, huh?"
"And now? Is it still bad?"
A nod, and a very tired, "Everything I try to eat just comes right back up."
"Any fever?" He felt the forehead again, and laid the back of his fingers against the boy's neck. His skin was warm, but only normally so.
"No."
"Anything else bothering you? You got the runs?"
"Ew. And no."
"Well, that's good, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Then I guess I'd better get you an appointment with Dr. Moss. What do you think?"
He squirmed a little bit, and his voice was plaintive. "Do I have to?"
"You want to get better?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'll make the call in the morning, see if he can work you in."
Big sigh. "'Kay." His voice broke a little, and when Jensen swept a palm over his face, he felt the wetness of tears.
"JJ? Does it hurt that bad?"
"No," the word came out on a little sob. "It's not that."
"Then what, kiddo?" This was killing him, Jensen couldn't stand to see his boy hurting. "What is it?"
JJ sniffled a little, and breathed out so quietly Jensen almost didn't hear. "Glenn."
"Glenn? What about him? Did he do something? Did he hurt you?"
"No!" He could feel the boy stiffen in protest. "I wanted to!"
There was a long moment, a very long moment when Jensen didn't breathe, and JJ seemed to be holding very still. "Dad? He. We. But then--since I've been sick, he said. He--" A deeper sob, and a mournful, "He said he didn't want to catch the death flu from me!" The last syllable came out on a wail, and the boy rolled away from Jensen to bury his face in his pillow and sob heartbrokenly.
And numbly, Jensen rubbed the shaking back soothingly while his mind tried to find another interpretation for what he had just heard. He was sure there had to be some other explanation. Something, surely. It wasn't what he was thinking, it wasn't. There was no way. It couldn't be.
"Jadge." Jensen’s hand kept up the soothing backrub while he struggled to keep his voice level. "JJ, come on, man. Look at me. Dude, whatever it is, we can talk about it, right? We'll figure it out, but you've got to tell me all of it. You've got to come clean with me."
Reluctantly, JJ straightened, swiped the tears from his face and grabbed a fistful of tissues from the box on the nightstand. He honked into them three or four times, and tossed the wad into the trashcan. He sipped his soda and set it back down, and finally turned to face his dad.
"Did you have sex with Glenn?" Jensen asked, outwardly calm though his heart was in his throat. JJ nodded, unable to meet his eyes. "Jadge, did he fuck you?" That got a wide-eyed glance before JJ quickly looked away again, and another nod. Jensen reached out and put a hand on the boy's shoulder to still the trembling that had begun. "Did you want to? Or did he make you?"
"No!" The denial was swift, even though he still couldn't meet Jensen's eyes. The next bit came out on a whisper. "I wanted him to."
The trembling had stopped, and Jensen nodded. "How long have you been having sex?"
"A-a few weeks," he managed to get out.
"A month?" When there was no response, he pressed. "Two?"
JJ nodded his head. "About th-that long."
"And you haven't been together since you got sick?" JJ shook his head no. "So, about two weeks?"
"Yeah. He d-didn't w-want…" The words dissolved into heartbroken sobs again, and Jensen just pulled him in and let him cry, stroking his hair and his back, murmuring comforting sounds till he finally quieted, snuffling against Jensen's shirt.
"Dude. I am so never going to wear this shirt again," Jensen told him, still holding him close.
"It'll wash," the boy said, face still smushed into the fabric.
There's my boy, he thought. That's better. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He waited until the tension had all left JJ's body, then eased him down on the bed. "You think you can sleep now?" JJ nodded. "Yeah? You want me to stay?"
"Till I fall asleep?" His voice was quiet, but a lot less troubled than it had been earlier.
"Sure. You got it." Jensen turned off all the lights but the one on the desk, and rolled the desk chair over beside the bed. Almost before he sat down, JJ's breathing evened out and he was asleep. Jensen sat for another ten minutes before he got up, replaced the desk chair, turned off the desk lamp, and left the room, pulling the door almost closed as he left.
He checked his pockets: car keys in the right-hand, cell phone in the left, wallet in the left hip. Good to go. He stopped in the kitchen and left a note on the fridge not to disturb JJ and let him sleep, that Jensen would be back in a half-hour.
The note was still there when he got back. Neither Jared nor the older kids had gotten home yet. He threw the note away, and carried the bag from the drugstore upstairs to JJ's room. He stood looking down at his sleeping child, waiting for the courage to take the next necessary step. Finally, he leaned down and shook JJ gently by the shoulder.
"Hey, sick kid. I need you to get up for a few minutes."
JJ hadn't been asleep long enough to sink deep yet; he was fairly easy to rouse. Jensen led him into the bathroom and took the boxes out of the bag, opening the first one. He took out the contents, and read the enclosed instructions aloud before handing JJ the piece of plastic. The kid's eyes were round with disbelief, and he shook his head in confusion. "We just need to be sure, bud. Do what I said."
And Jensen left him alone to get on with it. He left the door open, though, so he could hear the stream hitting the water in the bowl. There was a flush, and the water ran in the basin, briefly. JJ came out, unable to look his dad in the face. "Have a seat on the bed," Jensen told him. "It'll be a few minutes."
There was no mistake. Jensen had read the indicators for himself years ago, all four times, he knew what the double blue line meant. JJ was shaking and incoherent and heading toward either hysterics or a panic attack, and Jensen wrapped him up in his arms and rocked him like a very small child and promised he'd keep him safe, that his family loved him, they'd take care of him, and he was not to worry about this. When he had calmed down, Jensen put him to bed and sat until he was finally asleep. JJ's phone was on the dresser and Jensen hesitated less than a moment before tucking it into his own pocket. Then he went down to the garage and hunted around till he found the old baby monitor, put new batteries in it and set the transmitter up in JJ's room, taking the receiver with him, putting it on the coffee table. He woke up his laptop and hit a couple of websites, and then he turned on the TV for something mindless to do until Jared and the other kids got home.
It was almost a two-hour wait, and it was Shannon who got home first. She said goodnight, and went up to bed. He reminded her that JJ was sick, and asked her to try not to wake him. Jared eventually arrived, and told him Mac had gone home with someone from the rally they had attended. Jared was on a high with the success of the latest campaign, and full of the possibilities of the plans they were making. Jensen tried to wait him out, letting him run down and shed some of the excess energy. But, excited and happy, Jared just kept talking. "Jensen, I know how you feel about all this, but we're doing some good! We're actually making headway, Repro is actually starting to get pressure on some things. I honestly don't think--"
"Jared, sit down and listen to me." Jensen hated to use that tone. If he'd had the time to devote to it, he might share Jared's happiness. As it was, he sort of hated to deflate that exuberance, but reality had to be dealt with.
"Jensen--is something wrong?"
He took a deep breath. He'd tried to rehearse in his head what he was going to say, the words he would use to tell Jared. But now the moment was here, he just had to get it out. "I don't have time to sugarcoat this, Jared. You just have to listen to me for a minute." He had Jared's attention now, and pressed forward without taking time for preparation or soft-pedaling. "JJ's pregnant."
"What?" Jared's expression was blank, uncomprehending, as if his husband had spoken in a foreign language.
"Trust me, he's tested positive three times."
"But--how? Who? How did--he's not."
"Apparently he is. He was a late-bloomer; we all knew that. Somehow he slipped through the screening without being identified. But he and his jerk of a boyfriend have been…together, for a while now. You know JJ's been kinda off, lately. Sick and throwing up and stuff. I just--I pinned him down and asked some questions, and then I got a few tests and…they're all positive. He's pregnant."
Jared looked as dumbfounded as Jensen had felt when he first found out. "That's--um."
Jensen nodded. "About the size of it. Look." He grabbed Jared's hand, in solidarity, and also to focus Jared's attention on him. "I booked two tickets to Ireland for early tomorrow afternoon."
"What? Wait--what--"
"Jared. He can't even see a doctor. We have no way of knowing if he's okay, if everything's all right. I take him to a doctor here, the doctor has to report it, and Repro swoops in and takes custody of him, and the baby."
"No!" Jared reacted instantly. "That's not--no. We can't let that happen."
"Right. So JJ and I are going on a visit to relatives in Ireland. I just want to get him safely out of the country, as fast as possible. Get him examined, make sure he's okay, that everything's fine with the pregnancy. Then we can figure out the next step, right?"
"I need to be there, too. He's my baby boy."
"Well, sure. But I figured you and the kids can get yourselves organized in the next few days and fly over for a vacation. Maybe our parents and the rest of the family too, in stages, maybe, and if they want to."
Jared was nodding, seeing the sense of the plan.
"But the urgent thing is getting him out of the country and getting him looked at by a doctor--getting him under a doctor's care."
"Absolutely," Jared agreed. "Where is he?"
"He's upstairs, sleeping, I hope. He's been so upset, afraid to talk to anybody about how he's been feeling physically, and feeling guilty for being in a sexual relationship, because he was afraid we wouldn't approve."
"Well, I guess it's a little late to say I disapprove." Jared reached out and pulled Jensen in for a hug. "How does he feel about it, now that he knows?"
Jensen smiled up at his husband. "Honestly? He's scared. But also a little excited, now he knows we're not going to throw him under the bus and let Repro have him."
"He didn't think--?"
"I don't know what he thought, Jared. Just that he was alone and didn't know what was happening to him, and he wasn't sure who he could ask about it, ask for help."
"God, the poor little guy. Wait--the boyfriend, Glenn. It is Glenn, right? Does he know?"
He could feel Jensen flinch, and then draw away, slowly, almost reluctantly. "I don't think he has any idea."
Jared just nodded, lost for a moment in thought before he spoke. "We can't tell him. My first instinct is to kill him, but then we'd have to explain why, and-- We just can't tell him."
Jensen met his eyes, unsmiling. "I agree. JJ's upset about it. He says it's Glenn's baby too, that he has a right to know. But you know what will happen if we tell Glenn and his folks."
Jared suspected he knew very well.
"Besides, Glenn seems to have disappeared lately, since JJ's been too sick to hang out like usual."
"I know Glenn's just a kid himself, but I--" Jared ran a hand through his hair. "I backed off and let JJ pick his own friends, tried to trust his judgment and keep my opinions to myself." He slanted a look at Jensen. "But honestly? I never liked the kid. There's just something…off, about him."
Jensen nodded. "Kinda skeevy."
Jared snorted a half-laugh.
"What? The kids don't say skeevy anymore? Perfectly good word." Jensen pulled JJ's phone from his pocket and held it out to Jared. "Take it. I didn't want him calling Glenn before--well, at all." He stood and took a couple of aimless steps, not really having a direction or an action in mind, just unable to sit still.
Jared took the phone, checked it was on mute, and slipped it into his own pocket. "You think he'll want it later?"
"Honestly? I think you should keep it here. If he has it, he's going to call this Glenn. He thinks they're in love." Jensen shot a look at Jared, skeptical but weary. "I'm not saying one or both of them isn't in love. But Jesus, they're young. What are they going to feel in five years? Ten? Plus, aside from that, I'm just terrified that if Glenn finds out, he'll tell somebody, word will get to Repro, and somehow they'll extradite JJ, even if we do get him to Ireland." Jensen rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck. The tension was taking a toll. "If the phone is on him, could they track him by GPS? How does that work, exactly?"
Jared stood and clamped down on his husband's shoulders, gripping and massaging at the knots in the muscle he could feel there
.
"Mmm," Jensen's head sagged forward as the massage took effect. "Should I be looking for a country that doesn't extradite? I don't know. I can't think--" he hissed as Jared hit a tender spot. Taking note, Jared worked the ball of his thumb into the spot until he could feel it soften, and Jensen flexed the muscle under Jared's hand. Jensen sighed. "And I can't stop thinking. The wheels won't stop spinning."
Jared wrapped his arms around his husband and pulled him close, Jensen's back against his chest. He put his mouth next to Jensen's ear and said, "You've done a lot of thinking tonight. Time to let it go till morning."
Jensen pushed against his hold. "But--"
Jared tightened his hug. "Enough. Come to bed. Bring the monitor thing, so we can hear if he gets sick, or gets up and starts looking for a phone." When Jensen stood immobile, evidently unpersuaded, Jared said, "I don't know when I'm going to see you again, man. Come to bed."
At that, Jensen relaxed into Jared's embrace, and nodded. "Yeah. Okay."
Jensen thought about lighting some candles, putting on some music, making this a night for them both to remember. But he could do that without the props. He took control of the kiss, and laid Jared back on their bed, slowly stripping both of them of their clothes. Jared tried to help, but Jensen kissed him deeper and rumbled into his ear, "Let me."
Naked, both of them, he made love to Jared, kissing, nibbling, caressing, until Jared was impatient, grabbing and rubbing against him. Jensen took his hands, crossed them at the wrist and pressed them to the bed above Jared's head. "No touching," he growled. Jared shuddered in reaction, and whined in protest, but Jensen bit down on a nipple and Jared arched off the mattress, seeking more contact. Jensen laid his full weight along Jared's body, and used every part of it to rub and grind and arouse. Both of them were gasping, hot breath and wet kisses, and Jensen slid low enough to kiss and bite down Jared's neck to his collarbones, then spent minutes paying his nipples due attention.
"--Jensen!" Jared curled up, seeking Jensen's mouth, and Jensen evaded him using a hand on his chest to push him flat.
"Stay," he commanded, before licking along Jared's stomach, outlining each cut of his abs with his tongue. Jared's hips bucked up off the mattress, and Jensen rolled them enough to bare one buttock, which he smacked, hard, with the flat of his hand. "Still!" he insisted, but he couldn't hide the smile in his voice.
"Mean!" Jared complained on a gasp, and Jensen went lower, licking over the cut of his hip, perfect now as it was the first time he'd done this, and into his navel. Before Jared could writhe and complain much more, Jensen opened his mouth and swallowed him whole, right to the base, and Jared yelled and went tense as a bowstring, to keep from shoving up into Jensen's mouth and choking him dead.
Jensen slid off, an inch at a time, till he held the glans on the tip of his tongue, grinning as he moved just enough to rub at the frenum.
"God. Jensen, I swear--" The rest of the words were lost as Jensen slid down again, and back up, his tongue pressing hard against the underside, his teeth scraping lightly, just enough to drive Jared crazy. Jared looked down, and the evil green eyes looking back at him were suddenly soft and brimming with love, and Jared was right on the edge. Jensen pulled off, wrapped his hand around the base of Jared's cock to help hold off his orgasm.
His fingers, already slicked, rubbed at Jared's opening: one, two. Jared lifted his hands and grasped Jensen's shoulders, pulling at him, come here, come closer. Jensen's cock replaced his fingers, and he slid in, slowly, excruciatingly slowly, and once fully sheathed, he moved back and forth in tiny, tiny increments.
"Killing me!" Jared moaned.
"Yeah? Sound pretty alive to me," Jensen teased, and then slammed in hard. He grinned, showing all his teeth, as Jared yelled again, and then settled down to ride him hard, one hand sliding on Jared's cock along with his thrusts.
Jared came. An avalanche fell on him, and he came, and then he died. Jensen chuckled, stroked once, twice, three times, stilled, and shuddered, and lay heavy on top of the body, until Jared moaned a complaint.
"Heavy."
Jensen kissed his chin. "You're a big boy," he told him. "You can take it."
"Nuh," Jared rolled his head from side to side and wiggled under Jensen's weight.
"Killed me dead. Geddoff." When Jensen started to slide to the side, Jared caught him in both arms. "Do I need to tell you I love you?"
"Mmm," Jensen nosed behind his ear. "That's nice to know, Grampa. That's gonna keep me warm till I see you again." And then he got up, got a warm washcloth, and cleaned them both up before they settled in to sleep in each other's arms.
* * *
Jensen tapped lightly at Shannon's door. "Nonni?"
Bedclothes rustled, and after a minute, "Yeah? Wha's going on?"
"Can I come in?"
"Sure, Dad," she said on a yawn. She was sitting up, stretching, when he went and sat on the side of her bed.
"Sweetheart, we've got a little problem, and I need to ask your help."
"'kay?"
"There's just no way to tell you this but to come out and say it, and I need you to keep a handle on your reaction, okay?"
She nodded, solemn now, eyes wide with concern.
"Your brother's gotten himself in a little fix--"
"Oh my god, did Mac get arrested? The stupid--"
Jensen put a hand on her knee to quiet her. "It's not Mac, honey, it's JJ. He's pregnant."
"What?"
"I know, it's a surprise to all of us," he told her, and she nodded, wide-eyed. "Here's the thing. He can't see a doctor here, or--"
"Repro…" She was already onboard.
"They'll take him," Jensen agreed.
But she was already thinking ahead. "They'll take the baby." Her expression was grim. "It's that boyfriend of his--Glenn, right? Does he know?"
"Not yet. And he can't know. Not ever, you know that, right?"
Shocked, she looked back at him, and then things fell into place, unavoidable consequences, and she nodded. He didn't let her worry long.
"I've got tickets for a flight this afternoon, I'm taking him to Ireland--"
She nodded, and threw back the covers, scrambled out of bed and went to her closet. "Book another ticket," she told him. "I'm coming too."
"Nonni--"
"Daddy, you know how he gets. You can't keep an eye on him every minute. He'll get to a phone--"
"Papa has his phone," Jensen assured her.
"Public phone," she snapped, and he had to admit he hadn't thought of that, while she was pulling out her backpack and opening dresser drawers. "They still have them in the airport. He'll call Glenn, and word will eventually get to Repro. Even if you get him out, they can extradite him. Two of us can watch him better than one, and he may be less upset if I'm along, too."
Jensen had to concede on a couple of her points. Still--
"Ticket, Dad! Get me on the same flight!" The bag was nearly packed, she found the pair of shoes she'd been pawing around on the floor for, and threw them into the bag. She started the shower. "I'll watch him as soon as I'm dressed. Call the airline now!"
He looked at the closed door she'd disappeared behind, feeling a bit steamrollered, but also like he had a partner in this unexpected venture. He checked the hall, but JJ's door was as he had left it last night. He stood where he could see if his youngest emerged, pulled out his own phone and redialed the airline.
It took some fancy footwork, and an extortionate amount of cash, but he not only booked Shannon a seat, but got them all in the same row. Not many folks flying to Ireland on a weekday afternoon, apparently. He left her to watch JJ's door while he went to let Jared know two of his kids were going to Ireland.
"She's so sharp," Jensen told him, raiding the cupboards for a sleeve of saltines. "She was on it in an instant."
"Well, she's right," Jared pulled him in for a hug, chest snugged up against Jensen's back, swaying slightly in place. He was going to miss this. Miss Jensen. Miss being able to touch him, talk to him, hear and see and smell him. He tucked his nose into Jensen's neck and inhaled. He wanted to save this moment. "He'll be a lot easier to keep calm and distracted with her than without her."
Jensen nodded. "I wonder what this does to her opinions about Repro, though. She--she's worried about them taking the baby, as well as JJ."
"I don't know, but I'm proud of her right now."
They decided to let JJ sleep a little longer--the less time he had to think and worry before they got him safely out of the country, the better. Jensen headed back upstairs with the crackers, to send Shannon down for breakfast.
In the end, it went relatively well. Jared drove them to the airport, left the truck in short-term parking and waited with them until they went through security. JJ mentioned, a couple of times, calling Glenn, but they managed to distract him. Shannon chattered at him about their old place in Ireland, whether their friends from the village would be there, and would they be glad to see them.
"How long are we going to stay, Dad?" he wanted to know.
He and Jared had decided to wait until he was safely on Irish soil to tell their youngest that he wouldn't be coming home. They couldn't help a quick conspiratorial glance between them, but Shannon covered. "Well, a few days, anyway. We'll want to visit, spend some time with friends. Do you remember…?" And she was away with memories of escapades and friends they'd shared them with.
It was time to go, and Jared grabbed his daughter, wrapping her in a fierce, tight hug. "So proud of you, Nonni," he whispered.
Her fingers clutched in his shirt and she muttered, on the edge of tears, "Love you, Papa. See you soon!" before she let go and gave place to JJ.
"Okay, runt. You stay out of trouble, okay? Don't make your sister crazy and run your Dad ragged. I'll miss you."
JJ clutched at him, reluctant to turn loose, but Jared hugged him hard and set him back, smiling into the face that was fighting back tears. "I love you, Pop."
"Love you too, Jadge."
The kids walked toward the scanners. Worried, Jensen had done some quick online research last night. The scanners weren't detailed enough to detect an early pregnancy, and the radiation of one scan was negligible. Shannon pulled off her shoes and set her backpack in the tray, and JJ followed suit.
Jensen hugged Jared hard. "Stay safe. Tell Mac we love him."
"You too," Jared hugged back. "I will. You call when you get there."
Jensen nodded. "We'll see you both next week?"
"As soon as we can," Jared agreed. It was hard to let go, but Jared watched as Jensen went through the scanner without a hitch, and met the kids on the other side. They waved, and he waved back, and watched until they were out of sight.
go to part nine
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
WHOA!
Date: 2013-05-14 10:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 12:22 pm (UTC)I just thought of something. How funny that you named one of Jensen's kids JJ. Prophetic much? LOL
no subject
Date: 2014-02-23 08:52 pm (UTC)