fufaraw

So, I've been looking at pictures and not finding exactly what I want, and I haven't found a hair stylist yet, let alone one I trust, and I can't stand the idea of walking into a salon armed with magazines and hair site printouts and trying to explain like Muriel Blandings,

"I want it to be a soft green, not as blue-green as a robin's egg, but not as yellow-green as daffodil buds. Now, the only sample I could get is a little too yellow, but don't let whoever does it go to the other extreme and get it too blue. It should just be a sort of grayish-yellow-green. Now, the dining room. I'd like yellow. Not just yellow; a very gay yellow. Something bright and sunshine-y. If you'll send one of your men to the grocer for a pound of their best butter, and match that exactly, you can't go wrong!

"Now, this is the paper we're going to use in the hall. It's flowered, but I don't want the ceiling to match any of the colors of the flowers. There's some little dots in the background, and it's these dots I want you to match. Not the little greenish dot near the hollyhock leaf, but the little bluish dot between the rosebud and the delphinium blossom. Is that clear? Now the kitchen is to be white. Not a cold, antiseptic hospital white. A little warmer, but still, not to suggest any other color but white. Now for the powder room - in here - I want you to match this thread, and don't lose it. It's the only spool I have and I had an awful time finding it! As you can see, it's practically an apple red. Somewhere between a healthy winesap and an unripened Jonathan."

So, "I want it layered, but choppy. Some length left on the back, but not blunt length, more a layered length--not even layers, more like I chopped it off sort of at random. Imagine if I'd buzzed my head about nine months ago--hair grows a half-inch a month, so that would be about four and a half inches long, now, that's about the length I want. But the top has to be shorter, for volume, but the front needs to be a little shorter than that. I hate hair on my face, so it has to be either long enough to pin back, or short enough to brush off my face. Just long enough in back I don't have to shave my neck, but sort of straggly, not a lot of weight," and etc.

I quailed at trying to communicate all that to a stranger.

tl:dr, I just whacked a foot off my hair, and then chopped the hell out of it, all over. OH promises to help me do the parts in back I can reach but can't see this evening, after he's done installing the neighbors' storm door, and before the vegebarleybeef soup on the stove is ready to eat.